Dumby saw Salty at Denny's

"Yo what up?"

"How's the hand?"

"Aww it's okay. I can still point. Hah but flipping people off is now relegated to the left"

"What are you doing here so early?"

"My old man got drunk and we got in a fight"

"I hope you kicked his ass. He deserves it"

"Yeah I beat him pretty good. He told me to get the fuck out." 

"You can stay with us. My mom would be cool with it and my brothers room is empty since he joined the Air Force"

"Really?! Hey that would be cool."

"I'll get some clothes."

"Okay come over in about an hour"

"Okay. Hey thanks"

"No worries"

The green overfeldt portrayed as a 87 Chevy Conquistador.

Dumby got in and went for a drive. 

It was early Saturday morning and it was a little chilly.

He never should have shot that old gun. Why did they even have that old gun he wondered about his grandparents.

Well what's done is done, it's not like I could ever play the violin. 

He turned on the radio and Merle Haggard's Big City was on. Dumby sang along.

 He'd reached his peak

But it was nowheresville.

He bought a 30.06 at Sears.

"I'm gonna do some shootin' "

He went out to the grassy knoll near the highway.

"Gonna kill some motherfuckers"

But he had the wrong bullets.

The clerk gave him .44's

"These don't fucking fit!"

He put it all in the trunk and drove to Wendy's

"Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce

special orders don't upset us!"

 Bumpers aren't your only friend

But it was a sad day. 

So sad. 

 Salty's dad drank too much

He got canned for the umpteenth time and Salty's mom supported them working for the school district. 

Salty had an after school and weekend job helping out at the Wal-Mart. Salty had a Mercury Montego that was on its last legs. 

Dad was usually passed out when Salty got home. He tried to stay away from home as much as possible. He felt bad for his little sister and tried to help her where he could.

"Here's some money. Do not fucking tell dad."

"Ya think I'm stupid?!"

"Umm yeah!"

"Fuck you! Thanks for the money"

Jeannie was fourteen. But she weren't exactly a glamour gal. Kinda skinny and red haired and not all that popular.

"I'm going shopping on Saturday with Lynette!"

"Sears?"

"NO! Dumbass. We're going to Southland mall!"

"Hmm. Shopping for some dick?"

"EWW YOU CREEP!"

"Hahaha"

 Attila was stoned 

He had on one of his dads lp's. 

"Attila!"

His mom was yelling.

"Come set the table"

"Aww fuck"

They lived on Arbor Court. 

His mom was born in England and still had her British accent. 

His dad's name was Boris but everyone called him Corky. He worked for Valley Heating & AC. 

Attila's oldest sister had run off and was living in Hawaii. They visited her and she was speaking like a Hawaiian with pidgin English. His parents weren't happy about it.

"Why does she have to talk like that?"

"Let's get some steaks tonight!"

You couldn't really talk to Corky so Attila didn't bother.

Corky loved his Raiders and his beer.

 "Who was that kid that OD'd?"

"Well they brought him back"

"I think he goes to Granada"

"Dunno"

 Dumby's fingers were sewn back on

But the little one didn't take. 

"Sorry but it's got to come off"

The other two made it but they weren't good for much. He could move them a little but they weren't really all that functional. 

"Fuck it. It is what it is."

"I guess if we'd'a had better beer...fucking Modelo! Hah!"

"Dont ever trust Mexicans to save your fingers!"

"Shoulda had Heinekens!"

"Ve vill save your fingers for the third reich! Heil Finger"

"Let's go to John's Char-broil! I'm hungry!"

"Fuck and A!"

 Dumby was laying in bed 

He'd just come out of the operating room but there wasn't a room for him.

He was kind of a mess. His hand was all bandaged up.

There was a bunch of commotion and they wheeled a kid past him who was out cold and was sheet white.

There was more commotion and he heard the kid come to.

"You're lucky your friends brought you in. Sometimes they just leave them on the doorstep and we don't know they're out there."

"Please don't tell the cops. This happened before. Im gonna get really in trouble if you tell them."

"Sorry kid we have to."

 Salty's dad was drunk

"Hey what are you doing?"

"I'm going to bed, I gotta work tomorrow"

"Fuck work come and have a drink with your old man"

"I can't dad I gotta hit the hay"

"Fuck the hay!"

 At John's Char-Broil we ran into Salty

He had his usual yellow hoodie on

"Hey guys, what's up?"

"Dumby's at the hospital. He blew off three of his fingers."

"WHAT?! The FUCK. How'd he do that?!"

"He found a gun in his grandparents attic and decided to shoot it. It blew up and blew three of his fingers off!"

"FUCK! Jeez"

"Lucky no one else got hurt"

"The doctors gonna try to re-attach his fingers"

"Can they do that?"

"I guess they can try"

"Have you seen Attila?"

"Yeah he was here. Said they're going up to the dam"

"I gotta work in the morning"

"See ya later Salty"

"Okay yeah fuck n A"

 Dumby went to the operating room

So we split. 

"That nurse was hot!"

"No shit Sherlock"

"Where did he get that gun?"

"He said he found it in his grandparents attic"

"Jeez"

"Let's go to John's Char-Broil"

"Fuck yeah"

 The nurse gave him a shot 

To kill the pain

He was crying and cursing

  "I blew off my own FUCKING fingers!"

We'd put the fingers on ice with the Modelos

"The doctor will try to reattach them"

She had nice long brown hair

And was good looking

Dumby was moaning and weeping

We kept looking at the pretty nurse

She was hot

 The green mountain dumby

Pulled out an old gun

It looked like a .32 police revolver

 He said watch this 

 And aimed at a rusty can

The gun went off and blew up in his hand

Three fingers were splattered on the ground

He howled like an October moon

 A creature of green

said something derogatory 

 But it meant nothing

He was stupid

I kinda felt bad that

  He was dumb

He'd shown it before

   But it is what it is

I closed my book

   And fell asleep

 Attila the crumb bum

    Was a notch below

But the stars were twinkling

   Our blood was stirred

   We were high as kites on a moonlit night

       Porcupines were sauntering by

  Yo Attila

   But he'd left for a char-broiled burger

We calmly opened another ice cold beer 

"Dang, this beer's cold"

 I dreamt

of the igneous (rock)

   casualties of

my childhood -

   sweaters with sheep?

and boxes containing 

plastic boats

I was "least enthusiastic student we have"

   said

my 

  mom

in a letter to her mother

    She'd grown up with two younger sisters

and I had two older sisters. Women girls and more girls.

Fuck that shit. 

   The same year my teacher said I was one of the most enthusiastic students she had and I was a joy to have in her class. 

  And I was what six?

Earlier I think they thought I was gay because I had a lisp.

So I did speech classes with hot UNH collegiates. 

Problem? Solved.

 I had the rotund

Erudition 

Plied like a cubicle life

I was the forgotten 

Field of dreams

In Antietam 

The Lucky store

Of Civil War

The Ohio

Of dead 

I was the pavement licking

Your asshole

Of the please please please me

And all the Phillip Roth

East coast counterparts

Moving to the storm

Sturmindrang 

Casualties like a movement destroyed

We just want to raise the 

The little babies

Won't you STFU

 Turmeric crimes

Continue

  Fucking endlessly

   seasoned by 

Christopher Columbus 

Pissaro

    And the ...

Well you know

 Bumpers aren't 

Your face

               Smooth 

   Out 

     The blue Jeaned 

   Hijinks 

      Bikinis

   Micky Big Mouths

   In the back of a long bed

65 Chevy 

   Pale blue 

On Hwy 17

    Oh the days

   Are gone

Of dreams

   And girls