Wednesday, August 26, 2026

 Tried a thousand 

ways not to be me
I thought it would be easy
     but I couldn't shake me-
         like a shadow 
I'm always there 
here
   wherever
even in some fancy big city
a thousand miles away
Yup reflection
that guy
drinking helps
A LOT at times too much
so 
so what 
   Now I just hide 
from the demons
But they're out there 
I know they are


 

 I 

tried
to 
Right
The wrongs

Of
tomorrow 
but
      it's 
not working out
so I'll kick
it 
in my 
head
Kick in the bed
Kick in the motherfucking HEAD
and Excedrin Extra Strength
w Lacative Joe 
What?
Oh
never 
 mind
     sometimes it's like no one gives a shit
   but why should they
        Do football players know about CTE
UH DUH
    and they choose to continue playing?
(It won't happen to me ) ?
Any hoo what about boxers 
Money
Fame
Women 
More money
Who needs a brain anyhow 
Are you so much smarter?
Than me???
Lol
Nowhere 
time 
crosses
the river
river Jordan
Place your 
bets 
Ladies 
and Gentlemen 
To your right
Is Elvis Presley's
maids 
house
Rumors 
are she was 
African American 
Say what 
you will

 don't


        KNOW

nuthin
say a prayer
             say a mutherfuckin 


prayuh 
    lambo
  Mccowhorn 
  

 Out 
In 
The 

           Wastelands
   the hinter

   visor 


Fuggetmenots 
time
ain't 
      no 

        Thing
It's a walk
in the park
geologically 
born
    The Witches
 are 
  out

in
Death 
      Valle 
muerto 

VALLE
comme si
   comme ca 
 caballero
   don't leave
    the car old 
  frenchmen 
I'm spouting

nothingness
     to the wind
because
I'm bored 
drunk 
In bed
Sick
  old
    white haired
  Guy 
 with

 bad 

dreams
the shelves collapsed!!
he got 

CRUSHED
  clear the way
It's 
another 
 dream
 
for 
no 
one

No Bolinas 
fog
boats 
dogs
  Kids 
at 
Fishing  
Camp
Catch 
And 
Release 

Understand?

 Summer

you can't really tell here
I'm not sure what you'd call what we have
Once summer is dead we have a chance at some hot weather 
  The coldest winter...
was a summer with your mother...
  - Mark Twain's dad
The cold fog pours off the ocean 
sucked in thru the Golden Gate
the bridge is orange
Orange you glad I didn't say banana
Knock knock
Who's there? 
Fall 
You can tell by the smell -
September in California can be brutal on school kids
COLD in the morning
HOT in the afternoon
Chaparral!!
High chaparral 
Low chaparral 
What's the difference? 
Dunno
Keep them doggies rollin
RAWHIDE!

Tuesday, August 25, 2026




 

 Tears



    for years
you break the ice
                 and
                        fall
      
                            the water
   is 
freaking 
  

            brain 
  cold


 you're gonna die pilgrim

          better say yer prayuhs 
  
    to Jeebus Krisen 
  
        on circle hill
Or Cycle Hell 
     

       You got nothing

   no one!
 Well some 

     who'll miss ya
Cuz you were a weirdo

     and you made em laugh

 Words



      And tempers

Bitter 

Onions

Tears 

Onion tears crying
for dead mama
Onion tears crying

in aged birthday
No cryin here
 

         Sorry
Catch a bus 
to the midwest 
Leave her ashes 
     at the Landhaus


       Stock up
on Landejaeger 
It's all fat 
YOU CAN SEE IT!
 white fatty greasy spots
    

Tear up 
Nope 
Nope
 

      Nope tears for dead
Mom

 McMurtry 

Hemingway
Fitzgerald
     Some writers
What's that guys name 
DH Lawrence 
    Sons and Lovers
    Zola, Emile
Appolinaire? Don't know shit 
about poets 
- L. Ron Howard
Texas fantasy writer
Or is it  Hubbard
Praise Xenu!




 

 Is the world going to hell?

Maybe it's just me. Everything fucking irritates me. I don't know why. My seratonin has gone down the dumpster? Who knows? I think I need my brain sedated. Maybe electro shock therapy ? I need to be McMurpy'ed like cuckoos nest. But he became a veg. So maybe not that extreme. Everything bugs me. Oh well. Poor me. Get over it dipstick 

 Cold cold brew in a can leftover from yesterday

some bird outside is making noise
I got farm peaches ripe and super sweet and juicy.
Try buying those in the city. Not gonna happen. 
Last night I tried to sleep in the living room but there was some weird smell and I started thinking it was a dead animal. So I got freaked out and went back to the bedroom. The lights don't work in the bedroom. Why? Rats ate the wires? Who the fuck knows? You can't hire a goddamn electrician to come out and fix it or have the fucking CARETAKER call an electrician? He's been in a trailer behind the house for forty years and does he take care of anything? He takes care of the washer/dryer. 
Ah well it's a sweet little place too bad it's such a reminder of a failed marriage. Blah. Maybe the John Wayne print will perk it up. Maybe not Pilgrim.

 Good day to die

66th birthday
I got nothin goin on
Nobody gives a rats ass if I'm alive or dead
But there is some good thrifting out here. 
I got a framed 20x24 etching of John Wayne for 40% off in Cotati. Some Chomsky paperbacks for a dollar each. On Anarchy. And something else. At those prices I can't pass it up. 




 

 I find fault

Wherever I go
What's with that
Nothings to my expectations 
Like I want to live in some kind of perfect world 
While actually the world is going to shit
Jesus would never do that would he?
Buddha would never do that - get mad because a steak was overcooked, over spiced? Well I'm no fucking Buddha I just want a decent fucking meal you fucktards
Harrumph 

 




Monday, August 24, 2026

 




 I tried

but little success
I guess poetry wasn't in the cards for me
Maybe I didn't work hard enough at it
To understand it 
sometimes I'd get it, mostly
spoken word or the New Yorker lol
Weird dichotomy but heh
I used to go to poetry readings
It was usually the same cast of characters every week
They all seemed like they were on anti depressant medications or should have been
Vampyre Mike was cool
He had a backpack with room temperature malt liquor tall boys 
Dominique Lowell was passionate and a junkie 
Rafael was a former Franco youth poet/anarchist crazy drug fiend
Sparrow 13, Julia Vinograd, Bucky Sinister and others I can't remember their names right now. 
Every Thursday at a spot on Guerrero and 22nd? with aluminum
Siding walls and bleacher stands seating
Cafe Babar 
The Babarians 
Occasionally Dawn and I would provide musical interludes. We'd do songs like Wish You Were Beer, Satans Your Buddy, Too Much Shit, and Truckload of Art. 
Dawn and I would sometimes sit at the kitchen table at home and get drunk and try to write songs. Sometimes successfully sometimes nope.