Okay

They're not all winners

but I'm

Out there trying!

or rather inside in bed kinda doing something

It's a job

I get paid well

in sand and fleas

  The old movies keep you alive

    that one about the guy on a desert island just hanging out

Who was in that

I forget 

It was on tv I was like fourteen

anyway that's me

I'm that guy!

In the movie 

Don't believe me

See if I care!

 Please

 sorry

   say no mo 

    No 

no

no

  It's 

a 

 broken record

skip skip skip

   smile 

     my teeth hurt

  I never laughed

    I got caught up 

       I'm pretending

    this isn't real

       I'm shying away

       I'm loose 

   but not free

     I've tried 

    I've lied

    I've poured salt on wounds

      licked some

       I'm a leopard

 in the guise of a marmot

      I'm fat 

         I'm stupid

       I'm illegal 

 Pictorially

  pigeon holed

down that rabbit hole again

  regardless of seasons 

Niecephore Niepce (is that spelled right?)

   Brassai 

Winslow Homer?

Nope wrong

  Kertescz !

Some would say 

Nope

    Photographer of Paris streets cobblestones

rats

  women made up drinking wormwood 

green stuff

with sugar

  My memory is going

     fading like a color photograph left in the sun

Like the photo of Buzz Aldrins family left on the moon

  I was here

     New England Color Lab

- hired as a custom printer

  To put couples in song sheets

We've only just begun

  Picture of the groom unzipping the brides dress

In a red keyhole

    

 I just keep cranking out the same crapola

Nothing new

hardly original

just vomiting up the daily dirge

It keeps me off the sidewalks

  I lived on Linda street in 1985

   In the mission

    worked at a bookstore for I think like five dollars an hour

  the shipping guy in the basement was some kind of old movie genius he knew every character every actress from every old movie

  The other clerks were literary book nerds I thought I was well read until I met these guys

  The manager had been moved from the Modesto store to the new store in the city. The regional manager was a little short guy who seemed intent on making her life suck.

  On my birthday she and I took the ferry to Sausalito and got hammered. It was a good time. We got back around three and the regional manager was there and was fuming. She didn't care. 

"Fuck him" she said later

 Oh 

hello

  broken

    fuck it

   worlds 

F'ed 

Up

     go 

To

Your 

Sovereign 

Nation

 Jefferson

    National Bird

    Middle finger

        Hoo hah

   And such

   I've forgotten what the point was

Maybe there is no point

 It's a mystery

      a conundrum 

     Conjured

      From 

       a cantaloupe 

an apparition 

That thing

whattaya call it

 Thingamajig

     like a Frazetta painting

Red Haired Vikings

battling with battleaxes 

against a dark haired 

barbarian

Who'll win?

 Purgatory in my brain

Yellow 

    blue 

      No time 

for all that matters 

wrinkles on my ass

   wristwatch running fast

what time is it

     time to forget the sin cosin hp 45 

days of Baughmann's plastic life size horse

   a 32 caliber Colt in the drawer

     It's not an antique

         She cried on Xmas

  because he gave her a cubic zirconium diamond ring

What a cheap bastard

  He always said Buy the best

 Towering pylons

of electrical antipathy 

no brains

No dogs

No puppies in my room

Yip

   Bark

  Bark 

Bark

  Yap yappity grrrekl

   Towering meads

of sensory dreams

endrogenesis and 

  downward sleeps of nothing but repeats 

 and over

    again so 

  My leg itchs 

And bark

Bark grrsselp

  

 I think I'm sick

I got brain fog

Like this hazy day

Back hurts 

Wah wah wah

Bought pork chops

and cooked one in the microwave

A little tough

but quick

Bal bla lah

Wah wah wah 

Whoopsy doodle

 hazey 

   hello dia

plead with the sun

    why

     why

   plead for or with the nobodies

the somebodies have it

    Whoever they are

                 I seen long ago 

mountains

and birds

  seen myself turning to dirt

     seen friends vanish

         where'd they move to?

I'll call it Portland

  Is he dead?

Nope Oregon

    Just thank god it's not LA

horned devils 

flashy suits 

Hot as hell

   Always on fire 

    Inventors of smog

      In the valley

        Muffler shops everywhere

Take the 105 to...

 I am a weirdo

Cracked 

Kooky

   Nuts

 Bonkers

    Who isnt

 standing

on subverted plains

mirrored reminders of 

stupidity

vaping as if my life depended on it 

catching the north winds blowing

in my southern windows 

Baked in blue jeans

   with baked beans

    and cassoulet 

       Destination 

South of France 

Aix en Provence

Cezannes atelier

the ceramic jars and pitchers are still there

Surrounded by developments

houses and streets 

Did we take a bus?

Don't remember

So long ago

 New Hampshire boy 

   makes good or not

The trees!

   Miles and miles of backyard woods

Night Spying girls windows and

    day climbing getting smelly pine sap

Stuck to your hands

  climbing higher than is reasonably safe

WAY UP THERE

   just one branch at a time

the forest was my friend

It led thru 

the "Ho Chi Minh" trail

     To the railroad tracks 

and down the tracks to The Creamery

and on to the University 

   And The Wildcats

Football team

Vic Andronico was our quarterback

   We lived on a dead end street

        I rode on the outside side panel of a white VW bug 

  driven by a college kid

-  across the street in their woods if you went

far enough you'd find the place that had old washing machines sitting outside

    The last bit of snow strangely around them

Our house had a giant living room with a deck looking out on the trees and a very high ceiling

   One time I had a towel safety pinned around my neck

I was Superman

I climbed the giant ladder in the living room and jumped from the top onto the sofa

But I bounced off it over the back and face planted on the hardwood floor waaaah

  Icarus and Daedalus or something 

    We left for California in a red VW Squareback 

I didn't want to go

  I took my pillow and my baseball bat and got out

IM NOT GOING!

   Yup 

 Pinche

  Pendejo

                   Cual es la fecha de hoy? 

     Working

    Working

         Working

     Seen ya on the street

          with that black doggie

         See ya 

   everyday

    See ya tomorrow maybe

Or maybe not

La Perla Negra

        Sets sail

    w flautas 

      Y birria 

     Cuanto questo 

    tomorrow's another day

         set your watch

         for midnight

         we sail 

      before the moon

       

 Grievous

torture

Of Spanish

Steps

And 

Women in black

The children screamed

And laughed 

And ran the sidewalks

And the balloons

Old men with

Cigars

Fat and tired

Drinking and

Reading 

Newspapers 

Stores with 

Alligator

Shoes

And purple fedoras 

The movie 

Ended 

And we thought

Crazy

Italians 

 I

crept thru fire

  swerved when I should have 

swayed  

    sank 

   deeper

   into your eyes

       and you laughed

        for I was a fool

        with no sense 

of direction 

       I'd pulled the plug

      but the electricity was still on

 I got

a handful of 

 nothing

   no 

 time

no 

Nothing

  So what

  forget yourself

  Me me me

     Blah blah blah

Nobody loves me!

Hah

   the rocks know you 

the trees carry you

   The sky laughs at you

   the wind talks about you

    and howls

    lightning splits your sides

     thunder isn't ever around

       no phone

         no home

            no here's looking at you 

               Just goats

           and Charley

            on the back road

                to the Devils mountain

                    There you'll build a shack

         out of manzanita and barbed wire

             the walls of lead and colored bottles

                 beams of stone and plastic flotsam

             Isla Mujeres 

    and a beat up scooter 

 On the brink

sliding

ever downward

toward 

  levitation of the senses

     gird the beaches

        you can't change what's 

already here 

get washed away

washed of your sins

   hiding in a tree 

      surrounded by 

your mind

   your thoughts

      Everyone is gone

         

 Sick

 

  and tieyud 

               sleepin in the afterwards

   with chicken fried skies

                and work dreams

    BLAH buh hooey

        Nevie's to blame!

                 poor little cutie

       no brew crue

      tooniihht 

      layin in bed 

     tickets are cheap

         they say

   Fly to LA

          not today

 "You ruin everything"

What do I know? 

Perforated kale and smoothies

chop chop you got to toe the line

  I tried to jump and I pulled a muscle

   What am I doing

     Wandering noweresville in search of werewolfs and prairie potatoes 

   seeking the comatose reflection of a silver dome

     Pooing in an abandoned house

life gets more interesting as you get old

 Picking up rusty washers 

   with stars on them 

 the demise of soul

   in hwy 84

Vallecitos 

  Where is Diablo Canyon?

tumbling tumbleweeds

   In Torn Down Goats Head renovation

   the rooms are available

    the piano is waiting

     In the back room

      It's all

Owned by a utility

  I think

private property

Road closed

   The cattle watch you warily 

   who the hell is that?

The wind tower from another century

Is decaying and falling apart