Tuesday, April 30, 2024

 Someone should make 

Revisionist remakes of Tarantino's revisionist
movies which are closer to what would really have happened- the interlopers would be captured, tortured, and murdered and no one would ever hear about it.

 Who's there?!

Natecha 
Natecha? Natecha who?
Natecha! Ya know birds bushes sky air water rain etc!
Whattaya want?!
Did you order some air and water and stuff?
Umm Honey? Did we order some nature?
Um I don't think I did maybe one of the kids?
We didn't order anything
I don't care
You don't care?
I'm natecha I don't care about nuthin
Why not?
Why wood I? 
    Get it Wood? 
Okay thanks for coming by
We're always here but we're not always nice!
Is that a threat? 
Hah! Call the police! Natecha is threatening! They'll lock you up! No more natecha for you!


Monday, April 29, 2024

 I ran

through a primate contusion 
   Unparalleled by the current stock market
      the bewilderment of annoyance 
        were the every day clothes
   crying in coffee shops
   Is slightly unusual
    But sad
     I tried to use the computer
    But I couldn't do it
 And there was a weird dirty dude looking at me
Who asked 
  What are you looking at? 
I said
 I'm wondering the same thing
Fuck that guy

 French Fries

with chicken
     and cheese 
         and peppers
  Yum!

 I'm a cranky old fart

I don't like 90% of the music 
I hear in restaurants 
and it's invariably too loud
Grumble grumble 
modern music sucks!
 local barista

gal with a black 
FUN FACT
I DON'T CARE
t shirt
breaks into tears
about her absent dad

Sunday, April 28, 2024

 A stream
 of phosphorescent 
        blues
        ran thru
                everything
     you are 
      the awakener 
      but your ass itches
     And you might have bugs
So do what the doctor says 
         spread that creme everywhere 
         and leave it on overnight
    And don't forget 
     to wash yr clothes
      and the bedding

Saturday, April 27, 2024

 Mom's turning 94

 in May
I went online and bought
a 1964 Topps card 
of Red Sox player-
Carl Yastrzemski-
for her.

 Another Beautiful Day

   Sky's clear
   It's cool with a slight breeze
   coming off the Pacific
   Children are screaming
   and running 
   the shadows are hiding
   their secrets
   as you buy a bottle
   of booze
   And try to learn how to say
   Please don't kill me in Arabic
    "We don't say that, we just say
    don't kill me."

 There was a

frozen embryo horror
In yer pants
   So you stopped at Denny's
   and called your Congressperson 
   but the people in the booth
  next to you were too loud
    laughing and screaming
    about something the dog ate
your tears dripped
   on a Grand Slam breakfast

Thursday, April 25, 2024

 They took my sandwich

   when I re-entered my country!
 a deli sandwich
    which will never be eaten
       ham and cheese
          and maybe a little mayo
      encased in a plastic triangle
      purchased at the inisuper
   missing a large M
(I actually purchased three of them
and had eaten two already)
   but I was willing to
  do my part to keep 
  our country safe and bacteria free
  I handed over the deli sandwich
without complaint
(I'd already had two!)
  and they let me go my way
without any further ado
   or bag inspection 

Wednesday, April 24, 2024

 
Serene
 
    by signs
     of ancient pools
         of stop signs
                  south of Napoli
    the cheap suit!
        the cardboard
                               against my stomach
        the Romany (Gypsy)
     children
        all sizes
                     grasping my arms
outside the train station
         in Rome
        The black ambassador
        saying
        "Don't take candy from strangers!"
      and actually meaning it
               after us (Jessie and I) seeing 
   a box of mewling 
kittens by the side
   of a busy
highway 


 entombed

   like Cespedes
Glory to the age 
     See 
    the dolly is for sale
    said the black man
    loading his cart
I bought Fuji apples
   instead
and 
   cheese
    and pork chops
      and raw ginger
    there's a new world 
around the corner
   












 

Monday, April 22, 2024

 My stomach felt bad

   pretty much every fucking day
so I went out
   In the fucking ninety degree heat
  Walked a half block
To the windowless Chinese restaurant 
Ordered a full order of Kung Pao Pollo 
with white rice steamed 
And a Victoria beer
  not sure what that is but
it was good -semi dark lager
Ice fucking cold
   food was good 
but so much
   para llevar 
"Por la cena?"
"Maybe late night"

 the street dog 

     white with dark tear marks
under her sad eyes
  She's kind of a fatty though
 They call her Gorda 
   I gave her some meat
      From my steak and eggs
  I don't think she even got up 
  Just devoured the steak pieces
   And then licked the sidewalk
 kicking back
head a little funny
   Zeus -ified 
   post-hamburguesa hangout
no chilis
  no poblanos
    no serranos 
I really should 
   motivate but I know it's fucking hot out there
and it will
  beat me down
also no shade at this hour
the sun is directly overhead

Sunday, April 21, 2024

 who had 

  a longer time
with Herculaneum
 tithing
     A vorpal blast 
From Dairy Wueen
   And Bob Dylan lyrics
      About a volcano
    It can't all be 1985 Linda Street
And it certainly
Will never be again 

 I had no hope

   not even any dreams
Not any more
I guess it's a little late
  For that
They wanted 950 pesos for a ribeye
That's like 55 dollars
 There was a huge table 
probably a wedding group
and multiple other tables near me
  They were all waiting for their food 
I said no 
Yo pagare para los bebidos y voy a salir 
   I came across some guys drinking beer
at a hamburger stand on the sidewalk
 I got a cheeseburger w raw onions mayo and some diced 
peppers
  Yum!
80 pesos! 
 Cheap!
 The mirror 
  
   was a Bergman movie
at a cinema in Harvard Square
 I think it was Fanny & Alexander

 Some time

    with palm trees 
   and it's freaking hot
      the sun is blistering
  I'm really doing nothing
    drinking tequila 
In an air conditioned boutique 
   hotel 
I walked a mile or two to
get chinese food
  It was a huge plate of food
  No one else was there 
It was so good 
 Dang! Yum!

Friday, April 19, 2024

 Sucking on 

   Walgreens nicotine lozenges
In my dark air conditioned cave hotel room
In Baja 
and drinking tequila
All the workers must think I'm nuts
Every time I walk out they're looking at their phones
while picking their nose
It's a "Boutique" hotel
It's very clean 
AC on Turbo! 
It's fucking hot out
I had an idea I'd change my name!
to... 
    Hugo DeNaranja? (Orange Juice) (it's so good down here)
-  at least the room is clean 
She folded my clothes
And lined up my toothpaste and sunblock
I told the maid she could clean
She's always smiling- for real
She seems so happy
Alejandra
  "Voy a somewhere"
She laughed 
  So I went out for breakfast (was it oatmeal?- at some point I was like I need healthy food!) and then waited in
line at the Turistica Aguila bus station
-crowded on a Friday am 
I like bus stations - it's been a while
Large woman with a tiny little boy 
(He's all go go go!)
In front of me -she's trying to manage both
 Boy started crawling behind the luggage counter
Mom grabbed his shirt and dragged him back
like a fat lion w a pesky cub
Meowrr!
Next woman had an array of 
xeroxes in a folder
I think ID photos 
Buying tickets for a group. 
Gal who helped me was very nice
and worked with me even though
no puedo entender nada
(my standard ice breaker phrase- yo soy Americano, no entiendo nada!) Lol

 I slept

thru the blazing sol 
    drank a doorbell worth of
     don't forget tequila
       ate fried oysters 
         Thinking clams in Massachusetts 
            Got annoyed with some 
   dreadlocked dude
Asking cash or card
   before showing me the bill
How could he?! Lol
    Cute gal brought the bill 
I said I'll pay w moolah
  She laughed
Nos vemos!
               

Thursday, April 18, 2024

 Steps are squandered

   in baja concrete
Yer mom
    and pizza wings oysters
Tequila
   Chili lime
   the lost days 
of blah
Blah
Blah
   Taxi 
Stand 
       Graffiti 
DOPE
    eyeballs crying
in Mason pyramids
   airliners with a 
Giant Ram watching
  Decayed old hotel
Los Arcos
   abandoned and garbage 
   razor wire 
No estacionarse 
Policia
   Shake down
tourist 
For peeing in a dark alley
    2000 pesos 
or 36 hours in jail
   Off we go to the Mezcaleria
  and birria torta

   

Wednesday, April 17, 2024

 Oxxo

   closed
opens 7 am
 So much for that idea. 

 I left the AC 

  on Turbo when I went out
the little room is like a
refrigerator now
It's a little chilly

 don't leave the sun

    in a lonely place
it will burn your teeth
  Said the Prince of snot
Hack- toooey
  He spit on the sidewalk
 Three dogs lay under benches
sleeping 
  The beautiful bag had many junked sailboats
from a monsoon a few years ago
They lay like whale carcasses in the water

 Cocodril 

  restaurant is deep fried fuckstick
No Pacifico
 Twice wali ordered beers on the menu
but they didn't have them
Twenty minutes we sat there but she never came
back for our order
We left 100 Pesos and went down the road

 in a Transylvania mirror

   I wasn't there- but the mirror
wasn't either 
   but my dad was
  and now I look like him
 How long until 
I don't know
your name
street names
phone numbers
what email is
"Take Fen-Tone"
(They took his drivers license away)
  and every time I have ice cream
 it's like I never had it before

 The seance

   was banal
Definite lack of booze
            Spine tingling
         orchid face
       on a sobriety kick
         Sometimes I wish the ocean would
  just rise up 
  and carry everything off

 










 Cool kids

    In La Paz
Octopus mojo de ajo
  the garlic is toasted just right
and there's plenty of it 
 It's like a garlic bagel
But it's a plate sized whole octopus
 It's yummy
Beautiful day

 Lunch at Estrella del Mar 

   sitting on the covered deck 
With a grande margarita
Waitin for W and crew 
    There's the little dingy 
 Fully packed
3 people and a dog
It's very slightly overcast
   Just enough to make the light
Very nice 
The kind of light photographers
Would pay for

Tuesday, April 16, 2024




 

 I'm bored

In a cave in Mexico 
the AC is blasting I'm drinking Jimador tequila
I like motorcycles
But get them (the fuck) out of here 
What's
  This 
  Hotel 
Part 
Garage?
   Here's good water
And here's a Kawasaki kR-5
With tourniquets 
 For off road 
     Bloodletting 
   Please fuck and or A 
      Are they staying here? All nine motorcyclists?
Or is just motorcycle rental space 
    You can't smoke but you can park your 
motorcycle in the patio 
  I should break off
all their spark plugs
For crack pipes
   

 saw a beach dog 

after dinner - he seemed nice
had a big dick and balls 
you don't see that that often 
in San Francisco
that gets cut right off
Outside Oxxo there was a big pile of
crunchies for him - nice that
someone feeds him

Monday, April 15, 2024

 Left the house

(After a freaking cold night where two heaters burned out -not sure what's going on there- bad surge protector?- supposed to plug heaters directly into the outlet because they draw higher current?- Warning!)
Got up at 6:30 to get to the airport at 8:30
(Early) for a 9:30 loading
More like 10am
Flew 3+ hours to Cabo airport 
which is like an hour from Cabo
Oh and fuck Sammy Hagar Cabo wabo
Van Hagar the Horrible
Taxi took me to the wrong bus depot 
And lied (fuck stick)
And I gave him a 100 peso propina 
They were like you need to buy another
ticket cuz you never would have made it
To the bus you reserved (I'd left an hour and twenty minutes between the plane landing and the bus leaving)
"The bus right there is leaving in 15 minutes 
And is going where you want to go"
Beautiful young woman waiting for a bus outside
And talked to a guy eating Doritos
And a green PowerAde
Who had lived in Hercules and Pinole
Waved good bye to him 
Both of us laughing
Bus ride was cool along Baja Pacific Ocean shore
With tons of saguaro millions of saguaro billions
And billions
Of our lady of Guadeloupe - saguaro
Assemblage like phony cartoon
Meep meep 
Wile E. Coyote
cactus and the bus played a strange 70's like
movie about a woman with an old camper 
all overdubbed in Spanish with very loud bird chirps
And mellow country tunes 
I couldn't tell what they were talking about
but I think that made it better?
But the estimated arrival time was like fifty
minutes over and I was done
F'ing done 
tired and hungry waah poor me
And just wanted a cold shower and 
A margarita and a steak and a cig
Mexico



 Now we're headed north 

On th hiway
the movie's still on
Definitely dubbed w Hispanic ladies voice
The sun is off to our left
Coming thru the dark blue curtains
I have no idea what they're saying

 eating some leftover Popeye's

on a bus in Mexico
taxi from airport took me 
to the wrong bus station
He knew what he was doing 
or maybe he didn't 
Who the fuck knows or cares
There was another bus going where I wanted to go in 15 minutesw
Another twenty bucks for a three hour drive
Practically empty bus
Got in and fell asleep
Woke up half hour later at the station
I thought the taxi would take m
Ate some Popeye's and a western-y Winnebago
movie in Spanish with country songs
Looked kinda like a Mexican breaking bad
But with the guy from Paris, Texas
And a blonde worn out lady lead in a Winnebago 
Lots of bird chirps loud and more country tunes

Sunday, April 14, 2024

 Green Gables

and non essential oils in the  
Wayfarers wandering
Sometimes things just don't work
no rhyme or reason
Well there's probably a reason
even if you don't know what it is
-maybe the extension cord is fried
And it fried the heater
and it fried the one you bought to replace it
Who knows?
But you don't have a heater
My housemate hasn't paid his share of the utilities 
In months - why? I really don't want to ask
I don't get it
No rhyme or reason
But I don't care
I'm going to Mexico tomorrow
Hasta la bye bye!

 Driving through

the myriad proboscis known as
peanut butter life- are you crunchy or smooth?
 Does it matter? I think not
Where's my car parked? 
Somewhere in Oakland!
I'll never tell

Saturday, April 13, 2024

 A torrent

of hibiscus was preeminent 
    the steps were steep
    and the garbage was piled at the street corner
as usual
    We walked past Don Pedro's old torta shop
  But it was locked
He had died ten years before
No one knew what happened to the
sisters who made tacos and sold them for 75 cents
on the street corner 
Also gone: the little family restaurant
and the mountain bike shop
and the abandoned old lot with piles of basura
and overgrown weeds
  - now a multi-storied condominium building
painted white and blue
With fancy flowerpots 

Friday, April 12, 2024

 There werent enough 

   hamburgers to fill Z-Heaven
so we drove across the street
 to Taco Mac Rico 
 Z-Heaven called to find out  
what happened to us
We apologized profusely and lied about a
  minor medical emergency
"My wife's pregnant and we had
to get her car out of this bad neighborhood"

 I drank a maitai

   with a cactus pimiento olive
the lady at the bar said it would be good
 Later we went back to her place
    But I puked all over her Oriental rug
I blamed the pimiento
She kicked me out at 4 am 
Luckily I found my glasses 
  New Years Eve
2010
For the record

Thursday, April 11, 2024

 I'm 

on summer vacation
skipping stones and eating 
Hot dogs 

Wednesday, April 10, 2024

 Goodyear's cousin Grou-Cho 

Had a thick black mustache
And would frequently carry a large fire stick of the sacred 
To-Bacco. 
He was a smart talker and had a few younger brothers. Harp-Oh
And I can't remember their names but two others. 
Grou-Cho would frequently say
"That's the craziest thing I ever tipied!"
Whilst tapping the fire stick. 
Harp-Oh never spoke but would play a
drum to replace his inability to speak. He also wore a large grey trenchcoat taken from a Norwegian fur trader lost in the far reaches of Minn-esota. 
The braves were unlike others in the tribe and were known to confer with an Eastern tribe; the Vaud-Villes. They would disappear into the Poke-Eno's and the Cats-Kills for several months during the tourist months. 

 Chief Diatribe was opposed 

to his son's trading ways. Diatribe considered all
earth to be free to the sons of the sons of the sons. He considered Uknowitall's land to be sacred and if any of those scabies ridden Uwannasoak's came on his property he'd torture them slowly before having his braves cut their "balls" off. 
"Uwannasoaks are a primitive venous people who will sleep with elks." 
"Dad, the white men are the true devils! They bring duplicitous glad tidings and disease ridden cloth to kill us and take our land! We must unite with the Uwannasoak to fight the white man!"
Diatribe's hatred of the Uwannasoaks stemmed from a 7th grade tournament of "Elkhead" where his tribe lost due to suspect officiating.
"Never" he thought
But to his son he said "Perhaps you are wise my hook nosed son. Although I find the Gefilte fish repellant on this matter I will work with you."
But he had other plans. 

 Chief Diatribe's son

Was named Goodyear but it was a bad year, the year he was born. It snowed in July. The Medicine Man was called Mayo Clinic. No one in the tribe was sure exactly why. 
Mayo tried to put a good spin on the Chief's first born. 
"At least he's not Jewish."
Although he was not unaware the mother's surname was Silverman he assumed it was a mineralogically based spiritual name. 
"Pure as .925 Mexican silver!"
Goodyear soon showed his true colors cracking wise and investing in Remington futures.
"Dad, I traded 3 lakes and 83 "acres" for a fifth of a point on Remington futures. So far we've earned $8,011.73! "
"Son, the beaver blocks the stream to create the lake where he builds his home."
"Yeah but how much money does that beaver make? All that chewing and gnawing? He may as well work at Wendy's!"
His father was unaware of such a fast food establishment.
"Have it your way, son. Special orders don't upset us."

 Chief Diatribe

 was a well liked Chief of the Unowitall tribe of Northern
Minnesota. Other tribes didn't bother them much because "what do they have besides scrawny beavers and fat elk?"
Chief Diatribe was the king of scornful refutation. Legends were created around how he could turn mild discourse into ego fracturing discourse. Some said he could vanquish enemies without even fighting let alone talking to them. Some said his father mated with a scorpion others said they did not know what a scorpion is but he, the father, not improbably, mated with a hook nosed foreigner named Tyrannia Marx, who had briefly stayed with the tribe whilst selling glass beads and half shares of time shares in a place called Flo-Rida.

 I tried on some Wranglers

but it just wasn't to be
There was, one morning 
When I was a teenager, 
a full size plastic horse
at the school bus turnaround 
It was where I got the bus to school
I recognized the horse
"That's the horse that's always in front
of Baughmann's Western Wear in town"
I said to no one
A couple days later it was gone
Back to First Street and Baughmann's
I always identified with that horse
Years later I told that story to a clerk at the store
She said a lady in a wheelchair tried to
steal it last week
The horse is on a wheeled platform
And she tied it to her wheelchair and was headed
down the street

 There was a forensic cowboy movie

Shot in Arizona
It starred a Saguaro cactus
It was called 
"Johnny Saguaro!"
He didn't act much 
He was kind of an actor like the guy
who sang in Cool Hand Luke
The Man with No Eyes didn't sing
and it wasn't Paul Newman
I forget his name

 I was 

blathered 
battered 
flattered    
by the strength of the sun
     so I drank Tequila 
like it was any other day
   lime cayenne chips
  while playing Texas Hold Em
On my phone

Tuesday, April 09, 2024

 I think

   I thought 
I saw
   a nine headed yesterday
   With eyes of the future
      excalibrating as if the Dalai Lama
        Too much!
      Dial that back
        A Yeti in Tibet 
      Was encountered by Cuthbert 
   Captain Haddock
  Thought it was the whiskey 
"Blistering Barnacles!"
"Oh my beauty past compare
    these jewels bright I wear!"


Monday, April 08, 2024

 I was

   mesmerized by a 7-Up
entranced by Frito Lays
   Born to the Television Black and Whites
On UHF 
  and VHF
South of that town in Mexico
Oh we went to Ensenada
I think my parents
 Were surprised at how shady it was
Dude with twenty watches on each arm
Trying to sell
 "Dad, why didn't you buy a watch?"
"I have a watch."

Sunday, April 07, 2024

 A breezy

chaotic idea of 
gravity- 
  dark matter does not exist-
So quit trying to blame it
  Every time you drop a galaxy
--- to be continued, ad infinitum
 The movement

was fragile
         seemingly coherent
      yet roundly
                   under appreciated 
the face 
was sad
      Poor face! 
   Gosh life's hard
    When you have to eat at 
Wendy's
And drive a year old RAM
truck
     

Saturday, April 06, 2024

 I managed
A thousand
   wtf's
  across a barrier
Of human interactions
People talk about people
Nature doesn't talk about people
Trees don't say nuthin
At least to us
Rocks stare stoically but rarely a peep
Sometimes they crash down on people
But that's just bad luck
Grass flowers bushes dirt water ice etc
What are they saying?
Have a good day!

 I'm weary

just tired 
    of everything
   I wonder  why
           Maybe the booze     
      And cigs
     And aging
     And potato chips
Could be
Could be

Friday, April 05, 2024

 Sometimes

You have no idea
           But what the heck?
                   You could be a shiny raincoat 
But you're not
          You could be a
         Tv show
         Entertaining
           millions
But you're not Lucy
         Or Louis CK
          Why are some people funny 
But then they're not?
           You have ideas
      But we're not 
   gonna talk about that now 

 I dreamt of chipotle

      getting its heart ripped out 
at the arc of the pyramid
   Its lettuce ran down the steep stairs
 We wondered why 
  "To appease the gods"
Was their standard reply
  Moctezuma's revenge
Ain't no lie

 Splayed

    in a remorse
of self attuned 
    hyperventilating in a casual
setting 
  try the Caesar salad
  with Rubicon dressing
You can't go back 
   Yes that's the story
       I'm sorry 
          But I had chicken salad on rye
  And a Dr Pepper
  On the shoreline cafe 
   in Iowa
 It had plenty of onions

 Ya can't oh never mind

    Drain the Methuselah 
arrive in platinum caresses
       join the rest - be the 
crown
    star struck
   and purposeful 
with new socks pants and shirt 
be kind of quirky
  but not wired
on a stick 
  or a thespian
   or a boatload of speed

Tuesday, April 02, 2024

 every day I get a bottle of tequila

and I drink it until the witches come out
they say I'll wash my hair
but they never do
they say
this is my dog I love him
But he bites my leg
He's part German Shepherd 
Part Cerberus
The tequila says get away from that dog!
But he's kinda sweet
And the torn flesh 
Doesn't hurt that much 
Sweet puppy!

Monday, April 01, 2024

 don't wander in 

  the deserted desert
peyote eyes 
   you may get lost
or find yourself
   without a hope
 your ego wandered off
   you found a talking iguana
and every word was a cascade 
of kinetic pyramids 
   your blood was green and yellow
    and cold roses
 spelled out the route to the edge of the seventies style
 neighborhood and now an empty field
     -and with two friends you sat in the 62
Ford named VYL
   a four door
listening to the echoes
echoes 
    echoes
        echoes
following behind
   as you traveled thru
space/time
 continuum 
behind a space wandering big rig
   And talked in recognized
cycles
"What if the cops come?"
"Here we are again!"
 Watch
   
    trip yr brains out
        sweet
       marigold
stationed 
 in a train station 
     outside
                     Constance, AZ
       drinking
Fanta orange w tequila
and eating tortillas 
     W pollo and Pipian mole
                           crying for your lost self
later
much later
      but Dad won't talk
                    Except about his hyundai 
    You turn the AC
      on and fall fast asleep

 sorrow in Japan

   Well not anymore
The husband 
And the meth head son are gone
  He was a good kid
Good looking
 Positive
But man 
He couldn't stop-
Drove his parents nuts-
   Refused to take his meds
"I don't feel like myself"
Yeah well yourself is driving everyone crazy
Thought he was smarter than everyone
She moved and didn't tell him where-
What can you do when someone doesn't want help?