The deft appraisal of the Strawberry Super Moon

  Deft ? Left?

       The dog jumps on people and I'm the bad guy

    No spiny choke collar! Okay 

    No FaceTime with the dog!

    I'll eat all the pizzas 

       And the extra firm tofu

  The gal at the art supply was very self congratulatory 

    Regarding her knowledge of fountain pens

   I told her the the story of how "The Truth" was on

Who wants to be a Millionaire?

  She kept doing this thing with her eyes where she'd roll them back into her head like how some people close their eyes in conversation but her left eye would still be a little open but you could only see the white of the eye. I'm sure she had no idea how it appeared, 

  Dan K. came over with a bottle of gin and the cutting board pulled from the kitchen he and his wife just bought.

"Have you ever used a power sander?" He inquired.

"Belt sander or Orbital" I replied. 

We sanded the fuck out of the exterior of the cutting board

And then applied the stain.