I killed a man
that was why I had to leave New York
I was drunk and he was belligerent
    we fought in the alley
behind the bar 
 he was kicking the shit out of me
he probably had thirty pounds on me 
   there was a bunch of empty wine bottles in a box
  I grabbed one jumped up
and broke it across his head
  he went down and didn't get up
blood was pouring from his face
or what was left of it
   it sickened me
  thirty minutes later
I still had the broken bottle in my hand
I threw it in the river 
and took the subway back
    
     
    
    

the far flung
    synopsis
      cantilevers
    an endometrial awareness
     poignant > pungent
   a giant brick bunny rabbit
in the front yard
  and burning rubber
in the street
 a 72 Chevy Malibu
 and trying to play drums like John Bonham
some times the fog was so thick we couldn't see
but it didn't matter 
     tule fog caused a massive pile up
some girl lost her arm
but she didn't go to our school
then you started wearing that sport coat
   but it didn't matter
 that it was mine
    
  
   

outside
you could hear an owl
you could see your breath
  in the deck lights

later I awoke and
heard police sirens
  and I thought I heard
someone yelling

and I thought oh great we're way the fuck out here in the country
and some crazed murderer is going to home invasion
the shit out of us
Then I started thinking about my grandfathers .32 colt police special
and how my mom gave it away at the police station
when my father was living in the downstairs bedroom
and had worsening dementia
and about the time
one night
 years ago
I must have been about thirteen
when there was a man on the road
and my dad was out there with the pistol yelling at him
while waiting for the sheriff to arrive
it was like the old west in a seventies modern style house
plunked down down the road from hard ranch houses and random barns, structures, and decaying vehicles
The guy on the road was laying down
he was drunk or on drugs
and he was yelling stuff
    somebody had probably kicked him out of their car
like an abandoned dog
          we had those too
a scruffy pekingese mix showed up at the sliding glass door one night
while we were watching tv
and scared the bejeebers out of my sister and I
  we kept him and named him Sam
Sammy!
I thought about a bunch of stuff and then I went back to sleep

I was on my hands and knees
in the frontyard
barking
 at the neighbor dog
 he was a large black dog
  he just growled and bared his fangs
I ran back inside
 for Christmas dinner
 
 

    

staggering 

from the bloody scene 

        I jumped over a fallen vespa 

                                      and hid behind a marble balustrade 

    more shots rang out 

                        more screams 

          people were running 

             screaming 

                           crying
                                                     the bus pulled up and the driver saw me
  he opened the door -
   I got on
 and we left
 

                        

           

I was not a weary traveler
   my shoes were clean
      I ate fresh macaroni
not that old stuff
         sometimes I forgot my wallet
but others paid
   one time I lost my wallet
      but a woman found it and drove it to my house
        I stayed in a pensione in Verona
            the bed sagged horribly in the middle
               but I was drunk on white wine
                    and it did not matter

the Giottos
    that is why we went to Padova
or Padua as we call it

later we left
      
      
            

http://whifflingthrough.blogspot.com/2012/01/toward-back-of-sea-he-placed-empty.html

they cover it with a clear plastic dome
        underneath
    is a maraschino cherry
        atop a swirled dome sized pile of
           WHITE whipped cream
    I don't remember
milkshakes coming like that
usually they just had the flat plastic lid with the hole in the middle for the straw
 
     
  

He'd never heard the word putsch
    a putsch by putin
      coup d'etat says safari
          you back the bear into a corner
"tanks don't need visas"
    and neither do bears
          

the picture is not here
   there is no tomorrow
     the way is to go
         the songs are sung again this time with feeling
 
behold the man!
           what a homo
      i forgot to lock the car
             tomorrow is already here
 
   but let's not quibble
     trees forest whatever
         chinese dinner made me hungry for xmas an hour later
              glucose Claus
                  are you pre-diabetic, too?
 
   there are kittens
      where the president-elects face would be
         like shiny chrome
            i am awaited
                

cogito
non sequitorial
   errata
       cum serrano
           filete milanese
                with mussels
and white wine

Fear of death
annihilation of the Self/self
   pixies are the result of
      eating Jesus' body
through sacrament
    Jesus's wine/blood
      poured into the mind of the salvation seeking
the answers are too real
   sometimes
better to listen to the wind
God speaks through leaves
 there is fire
 in the mind
            always churning
            the iron mind
            salt weakens
the surface
high blood pressure
   and cathartic pressure
       the difference/the revelation of the soul
in a 33.3 LP
          

 

I CHING 

Question: Should I get a job?

Result:

59. Dissolving

Line 3:

Dissolving oneself,
without aversion.

Forgetting about oneself to get things done, without feeling aversion to doing so.

the echo
of the canyon people
    lives in the hood of a '89 volvo
         put your ear to it -
see?

Now,
if you stand
                                right here
    and look between where
those two trees
   used to be
             you can see
                                 the shadow
of a horse that
    lived here many years ago
           
  

 

never again 

sad waistrel 

mourned from stars 

                 beckoned and 

calibrated the reasons 

          the ramifications 

    the sadness  

        

the kindness of the supermarket check out ladies
with a bah humbug hat
   like the grinch
       i'd slept most of the day away
   showered and dressed to buy
bacon and tortillas and shampoo
and tangerines
sweet small tangerines
  so easy to peel
    so good
      individual smiles of delight
          orange sunshine
tangerine sunshine juice
 i digress though
but this
   is all digression
      or is it?
whatev
   I'm running out now to buy a new car
  a Porsche
 with orange tangerines on it
      it drives across rivers of grapefruit juice
             but parking is a problem in my neighborhood
   
        
  

on a Thursday afternoon
 some melancholy adroitness
      pondering construction sounds
         and rectangles of sunlight on the wall

to shower or not to shower?
- that's hardly a question
moving fingers
     eating falafil
         with an i
             there's no I in falafel
                 
someone honking their truck horn
   sound of some machine- cutting- working- pounding

lettuce and red onion and dressing
  with falafil for lunch
time to go!