It's tiring always being a genius

especially when no one can see it

heavy load to bear

"after I'm dead"

the motherfuckers will come out of the cracks in the walls

They'll crawl out 

from under fetid rocks

What's a fetid rock? 

Idiots?

 I WANT PHOTOS

B&W 

BLURRY 

AND CONTRASTY

IM ADDICTED

TO PHOTOS

GIVE ME PHOTOS

DIANA ME

AGAIN AGAIN AND 

some more

Klonk my Batman brain

  I'm a bat cave!

I'm

Not 

A 

Wizard

      Nor a 

       POET

IM 

NOT 

NOT NOT

IM 

A 

drawing

a pencil drawing 

of a naked 

woman

     I'm

A sullen

Coffee need ing 

Mfucker 

at

6:44 

am

 I have no spires

I am no cathedral in black nights 

watching the sorry the weak the poor trudge thru 

Yup not me! Get another fool! 

 I left the Surf bands at the park

all gray haired surf rockers 

cranking out their version of the same old thing

One guy expanded occasionally but he needed to turn up his volume twice as loud!

Blast it mother fucker! it's surf ROCK!

not EASY LISTENING for old farts

POUND THEIR EARS LIKE A GODDAMN OCEAN SWELL!

 There's got to be something real

in this god forsaken place

what's happened to my brain

is anything tangible 

I know it is 

But it doesn't seem like it

I guess this how people go crazy

I guess if you think you're crazy you probably aren't

but that's little reassurance 

So blooobbety bloo

and super you too!

 I traveled a little

Spent two and a half months in Europe

pretty much dirt poor with a Eurail pass

nights sleeping on overnight train trips

berths too hot or cold

families eating sandwiches and laughing 

old fat men smoking cigarettes and burping

we started in Amsterdam 

We went to the Damrak and saw the ladies seated in the window

Ready for business

Then we went to Hamburg to see a friend of my GF's performance. He was kind a of a big deal. We sat in the theater with hundreds of others watching rehearsals. It was some strange performance about some Admiral years ago. Lots of movement lights strange shaped boats and stuff. I took pictures but most came out kind of blurry.

We took a boat trip down the Rhine River and spent one night in a castle. Pretty cool. There were a bunch of castles on the Rhine. I think they charged merchants to pass but I'm guessing. 

We went to Koln and saw the giant cathedral that survived  WWII. Then we took a train to Switzerland. Pretty nice with beautiful mountains and lakes and stuff. Lots of dairy cows with giant bells around their necks. 

 I captured the Monster

With a ball of twine

three hairpins

and a Farmers pitchfork

things didn't go well until 

he went off to school

then he was their problem

I made a chicken sandwich and 

relaxed

 

 No go

it ain't working

what can you do?

Oh well move on

This is it

No it's never it

It's just a bump

Speed bump

Speed humps they call em out here

Speed Humps Ahead

 Some nights sleep

are fucked up

what was that

is my brain really that fucked 

I guess so 

or ? what kind of other explanation would there be?

nature vs nurture 

Huh?

It's my nature to nurture fucked up dreams

 I was poor and I worked at a bookstore

for like $5 an hour

I was dating a gal who dressed 

like Madonna in the eighties

(it was the eighties)

We went to see a band and we took a ton of mushrooms

and got super high

I got an idea in my head that Woody Allen

would help me with money!

I'd write a

Letter to Woody

like the Dylan song 

but not to Woody Guthrie

but later I forgot about the idea

because I was pretty sure 

it wouldn't work

 I ate an edible 

and drove around the city

it was a gorgeous sunny day

I listened to Jerry live on a cd in the car

the Presidio had some food trucks

so I stopped and got a Tikka Massala burrito

Unfortunately it was pretty crappy

Blecch!

 GO HOME NOW

STIFLING HAG!

shoot yer shoes 

fill your brain

with old movies

Forget this poem

It's crap

Let everything be

     GO ON NOW

    to Santa Cruz

      or Soquel

      drooping oaks

    what are they called 

Live Oak

        Let your guard down

For once in your fucking

Life

No one's out to get you

They could care less

about your blonde hair  

and your blue eyes 

and your degree in Fine Art

from the University of California 

    

 

 LAWD

BLEES

DIS 

ROBERT FRANK

     Picture maker

BLACK 

   &

WHITE

AMERICA

 

 Skallywagged!

bushwacked 

      BREVADO

      snoops and  

OOPS!

                   I spent all the money

in some small town pharmacy

OOPS! 

                              Vitiffududuyud! Purdue body def ddy 

Huh?

Let's pack it up 

and move out boys!

      the world ain't waiting

         we can hide the loot 

in the boot

      Or your snoot 

      Joe Pepitone

 I'm waiting for 

A hole in the sky

a place to rest

I'd rather be a fat marmot

The end

 more malarkey?

yes of course

seemingly incapable of linear thought

I wander

I wager 

therefore I am?

Bah 

Bunch of hooey

 

 Sweat

       and nothing else

wash your xyz

and stay above the fault line

We all know who's responsible 

We can laugh about it 

we can smash aluminum cans

we can recycle 

We can watch HBO

we can eat Cheez-its

and drink Lagunitas

@ copyright 

 Me

        Me

              Me

(Everybody else)

            Waiting on a cloud

           tears up

           at beautiful grey 

Waking to coffee

thank (god)

       and Colombia

                   What was that guys name?

                  Well, he had a donkey?

         A blanket

       and a handful of coffee beans

 The hole 

is not forensic 

the tip of the iceberg

a rosy dandelion

In your hair

You smile with carefree laughter

The sky opens 

Clouds believe you 

Time stops

and you wander into time

Cabinets creak

doors slam 

Shake hands and stare 

No more of that you think

No more of that

 Moving on

isn't happening

peace of mind ain't happening

so just stack the books

turn on the music

have a glass of red wine

and find the time to welcome 

all good feelings

Peace Love Understanding

What?

 

 

 I'm getting further away

this happens when you don't pay attention 

and just start something and rely on past notions

Something slips

Your foot goes off the pedal

the gears crunch 

Your brain stops giving a fuck

and you die

No you don't die

But maybe part of you died

And you get this crap

 

 Stooges R Us 

in Detroit gas 

Accomodations 

meaningless 

   attributes 

 Breakfast sky 

I'm a pancake 

with no syrup

 Thirteen thousand

thoughts on my shoulders

with wine

      and broken poems

       I'll start out in foggy mornings

        off to the Pacific Ocean 

I've climbed Lassen

and some other mountains

Bumpus Hell

     sulfur smell

      Yellow rocks 

        Black birds

 You spoke

before you 

Mumblety mumblety  

you parked / pegged

You're no Jack Kerouac 

 I hated everything

Mom dad cars ( no not cars)

Lotions aspirin pill bottles

other stuff too much to remember

Things in weird assemblages in museums

shoes fancy shoes white high heels

never criticize a woman's shoes

or you're a dead man

I learned this first hand

 Mirrors of cement

your eyes are bad 

Your brain tries

But no luck

So you just use sun block

and try to stay out of

The way

 

 Lazy

 days

 Stand to attention 

So what

     Look at the sky

    gray and maybe rain 

     find your shoes 

     in a pile

         time to go

 No matter

Just cryin in my beer

Lazin like a rich white dude

 Symptoms of such

   No matter 

      I need a planner

         But 

   But

 But 

     But

Butthead 

I'm a tumblin tumbleweed

Oooh eeeeeee

     get in

Go on

    Go forth

    Leave it alone

take it now for blah blah blah

       What color are your eyes?

I'll sleep on the Spanish Steps

      I'll Henry Miller that shootski

Pensiones in Montmartre 

   Clichy?

Cliche fledge that

  I'll go Cendrars one armed 

to Napoli where thieves and scoundrels

live in ancient wars with

    Ratty tapestries

and motor scooters

and abandoned kittens mewl 

in the rain

   Your passport was stolen 

So off to the consulate 

Took one look at us and actually said

Don't take candy from strangers

No lie

  

 

 2x 

nuthin

          is still not much

   so no matter

     I've placed my bet

on a long shot-

sucker bet

       they say

   but oh when they hit

                    Everybody will be jealous 

       Or not 

I don't know 

                  No one's paying attention

So

do whatever you want

     

 It's always yesterday here

the dust and dirt 

where the antelopes play

No one's gonna give you a home-

a woman in baggy pants stands

in a ballet stance

There's a word for it

but she just wants coffee

and there's no tomorrow today

Ezra Pound said that

 Pooh Bear pajama clad older lady

Walks in shadows of the moon

Eeyore laughs

Owl confused

 Wet & Foggy

beautiful late summer morning

Orange haired teen gals buying iced lattes

 Commensurate 

UPS package

             1388 Haight St

      destination 

towards Mt Doom

Mr Frodo

      Blacula

                    in Fogsylvania 

get some crack

for your friend

     move on done

                         she worries about a woman watching

and hides it

for a vape

      and his face is black and green

                    from hitting the sidewalk 

blacked out

but he works the bar

               and is still pissed off 

like usual

 

 Centered

unlike meself 

Nit Brit

      Try me

                    some other day

    germanic? germaphobe!

      Try me 

another day

         but it won't matter

I say hello

you say goodbye

      put on another LP

 I'm falling

onward

toward nothing

Where's nothing

Nowhere

leaves of brown and green

and I'm trying to write

But it's working

To some degree

Some would contest that

and it's within their rights

I guess

I don't know 

I don't make the fucking rules

The End

Of Crime

And Crimea his wife

Roman mythology I think

or perhaps Etruscan

Mycenaean 

Minoan

Maserati

A baby's arm holding an apple

 I don't like hearing him talk

too high pitched and kind of whiny

on the page he's okay 

but his real voice!

Jeez no!

 Point San Pablo

was jumping last night

all the tables were full

and folks were dancing to the band

I had three glasses of champagne 

the band was actually good for such a small place 

at the end of a bumpy road in the middle of nowhere

people who couldn't get a table for an hour were talking kinda dressed up

My friend keeps his boat out there and he says his boat is infested with fleas

Bummer!

He knew where they came from. 

A poor dumb dog named Magnum. 

Poor Magnum!

 

 I

am 

forensic

                 challenged

I've tried 

other routes  

                        but they didn't work for me

I've borrowed 

                  paints

            plants 

      pine

         pistachios

                        some okay

    others nope

                          I had to learn to make do

                               to try and get along

            not that hard really

just chill with the snide zingers

I think it was third grade

I got the call 

I've never been the same since

 I'm feeling

old I'm eating a leftover burrito 

from a few days ago

I took the foil off and I'm microwaving it

I covered it with cheese before I microwaved it

It's a pre packaged slice of sharp cheddar

and now I'm kind of just eating the tortilla and cheese

It's HOT and the cheese is all melty

Yep exciting days

It's all kind of brightly gray outside

and it's rumored to be a Sunday

so yeah that's that

 

 The tide of dark energy 

does that exist

Giving names to forces beyond us

We don't know 

     Do I exist?

Lol

 Def not!

You are an impression of a nothing fragmented a billion sextillion meandering moping leaves of brown and green

Floundering thru something?

Or nothing? 

same thing

Check

And 

Mate

 Scratch

   that 

        I'm not the 

                one who put everything in

a pile 

    and walked away

   oh wait 

 have you seen my room?

         Oof

       I'm a collector

          Unfortunately my space is limited

So hmm 

   problems 

   Oh well 

     Live and let live 

      I guess

     

 Miracles 

see the sky

Breathe the air

Join Humanity again

Power still out

Miracles

Breathe

Try the criminal 

Ignore atrocities and celebrate financial gains

Purge the nation use that excuse to spend US billions on friends businesses

PM McSkeavepussy (pencil mustache) will fix the vandalized pool (pool vandals are fucking everywhere!)

Breathe

Lie cheat lie again steal launder millions thru block head coins

Life is good

 

 Power out

So QUIET

like nothing

No fan

No heater

The world has gone quiet

Everyone is dead

Even stupid crows

No cars

No trains 

Or planes

Life as we know it has ended

I'm the only one left alive

(dream as a kid- even then I disliked people)

I can live wherever I want 

Drive any car

Do anything!

 Steep

sleep

 nope

              I'm in bed

                        

and

here's to  

nothing 

On anti ziaty 

     Catatonic? 

Nope

Check

Pee

Check

Hungry 

Nope 

Check

   Nurse practitioner 

Do you think of hurting 

Yourself or anyone else

     Umm maybe  

     your stupid office 

fot not scheduling a physician 

To fill in for the doctors

Paternity leave

Wtf?

 the sleeping bonnet

trips you up

no fancy lace here

a reminder of lost days 

you roll over again 

There's no way

Ben Franklin did this

burning wood stove 

dries out the night air

But there is none 

just a plug in fan heater 

and Hester Brin 

what she do now?

Slut! 

 Gripe

   gripe

        grip

a thought 

  I'm not trying

I'm too tired 

  Altho what the hootenanny?

 It's 6:42 pm? 

Dr gave me anti anxiety pills

but now I feel kinda weird

Oh blah blah blah

Poor me I'm old and worn out and I take anti anxiety pills

Hah

I'm my mother! 

God forbid!

  Walk the path buddy

   buy the ticket 

     Skip the line

Housemate coughing in hall

Smoke another three doobies buddy

He once told me Greek women have mustaches because their men are at sea so much and they need to compete with other sailors - serious 

 the fountains of Green

poured into their soles

their feet ached but their heads were okay

the fountains of Green were worshipped as Holy

but they were just algae

And yet Algae had powers unsuspected? Unknown?

Who knows? 

The president dud did all he could to remove it by hiring his "pool guy" Pencil Mustache McSkeazepussy

PM McSkeazebag and his coterie of ilks. 

The Lost Tribe of Israel

Hiding in Armenia in a small one hour photo lab.

"Come back tomorrow"

 

 

 Stupid Green Men

not lead soldiers(those are we

Ok w guns)

I'm just a kid in an old man's body

Stupid Green Men

everywhere 

  Ohhmmm jhhgcxcv g did

Yeah yah yo

 I mostly just do this because I'm bored

Sorry if it isn't more interesting

but whatever 

I think it entertains me laying in bed

watching the fog blow by

Trying to ignore my housemates 

Wondering if I'm

Hungry 

or if I need to pee again

Old age is such a hoot!

I'm

Thinking 

Of 

Hitting the road and just going until 

The moneys all gone

 

 stupid 

        ears of green

   sordid imbrocations 

of non existent and the like

it's a way to find your soul

  

     say what you won't 

because

  that's just the way you are

No aunts uncles cousins sisters dads 

   gonna change that

so fuck it 

   get on with it 

 

   as if you wouldn't 

   anyhoo

 I don't have anything to say

but whatever

God is watching over me

I am blessed by fortune

Unless I just jinxed it

I keep listening to the same singer/songwriter 

kinda dirge sad lonely stuff

makes me feel good 

I'm not the only miserable person in the world

EVERYBODY'S LOVING LIFE BUT YOU!

yeah fuck em I've got a fucking Hyundai named Huichol

That's the dealership- Huichol Hyundai

I drive a Shaman 

Thru rainforests with multi colored panthers

Everywhere is vibrant dyed yarn reality

Panthers Jaguars Weird Mexican Deer with horns

Iguanas Spiders Tarantulas etc

Women making tortillas and laughing 

 I took pills

8 or 9 or ten different shapes

sizes colors every fucking day

gotta keep my numbers in order

But I feel like a goddamn sloth on Qualudes

is that why I drink so much coffee

Not feeling right today

But the sun is out somethings not as it should be

grey grey grey is what I'm used to don't 

confuse me with sunshine and birds and doorbells

and cars and Nariah Carey

Narnia Carey

Go read a pamphlet on STD's 

And Drugs 

 Stoic 

betrothal

me and my pain

me and my Hyundai 

Parting the seas

Driving the tears

Thru mudbath carwash 

and sunken eyed Napoleon dreams

In Georgia orphanage 

walked to Pensacola

after a 49 year old man was conscripted and died

in a train crash

Now their home is a Naval runway next to the Gulf

Pleasant Grove Baptist Church 

 All bad news

Why can't I stop looking?

Just the way it is

I try to sleep it away

but bad dreams 

So what are ya gonna do?

Every day more bullshit

Most of it is just in my head

Blah blah blah 

Sorry

 I'm 66

Going on 666

The Devil has his own itinerary

I think he keeps it in a day planner

Black and Red

Days of the week

Thursday: Stir the pot

of sturmindrang (?)

  - must be some kind of soup? 

Who knew he was so organized?!

 Bleak Grey

To my soul

The bitter oceans 

In black

Yup that's it black oceans!

 Tried a thousand 

ways not to be me

I thought it would be easy

     but I couldn't shake me-

         like a shadow 

I'm always there 

here

   wherever

even in some fancy big city

a thousand miles away

Yup reflection

that guy

drinking helps

A LOT at times too much

so 

so what 

   Now I just hide 

from the demons

But they're out there 

I know they are

 

 I 

tried

to 

Right

The wrongs

Of

tomorrow 

but

      it's 

not working out

so I'll kick

it 

in my 

head

Kick in the bed

Kick in the motherfucking HEAD

and Excedrin Extra Strength

w Lacative Joe 

What?

Oh

never 

 mind

     sometimes it's like no one gives a shit

   but why should they

        Do football players know about CTE

UH DUH

    and they choose to continue playing?

(It won't happen to me ) ?

Any hoo what about boxers 

Money

Fame

Women 

More money

Who needs a brain anyhow 

Are you so much smarter?

Than me???

Lol

Nowhere 

time 

crosses

the river

river Jordan

Place your 

bets 

Ladies 

and Gentlemen 

To your right

Is Elvis Presley's

maids 

house

Rumors 

are she was 

African American 

Say what 

you will

I 

 don't

        KNOW

nuthin

say a prayer

             say a mutherfuckin 

prayuh 

    lambo

  Mccowhorn 

  

 Out 

In 

The 

           Wastelands

   the hinter

   visor 

Fuggetmenots 

time

ain't 

      no 

        Thing

It's a walk

in the park

geologically 

born

    The Witches

 are 

  out

in

Death 

      Valle 

muerto 

VALLE

comme si

   comme ca 

 caballero

   don't leave

    the car old 

  frenchmen 

I'm spouting

nothingness

     to the wind

because

I'm bored 

drunk 

In bed

Sick

  old

    white haired

  Guy 

 with

 bad 

dreams

the shelves collapsed!!

he got 

CRUSHED

  clear the way

It's 

another 

 dream

 

for 

no 

one

No Bolinas 

fog

boats 

dogs

  Kids 

at 

Fishing  

Camp

Catch 

And 

Release 

Understand?

 Summer

you can't really tell here

I'm not sure what you'd call what we have

Once summer is dead we have a chance at some hot weather 

  The coldest winter...

was a summer with your mother...

  - Mark Twain's dad

The cold fog pours off the ocean 

sucked in thru the Golden Gate

the bridge is orange

Orange you glad I didn't say banana

Knock knock

Who's there? 

Fall 

You can tell by the smell -

September in California can be brutal on school kids

COLD in the morning

HOT in the afternoon

Chaparral!!

High chaparral 

Low chaparral 

What's the difference? 

Dunno

Keep them doggies rollin

RAWHIDE!

 

 Tears

    for years

you break the ice

                 and

                        fall

      

                            the water

   is 

freaking 

  

            brain 

  cold

 you're gonna die pilgrim

          better say yer prayuhs 

  

    to Jeebus Krisen 

  

        on circle hill

Or Cycle Hell 

     

       You got nothing

   no one!

 Well some 

     who'll miss ya

Cuz you were a weirdo

     and you made em laugh

 Words

      And tempers

Bitter 

Onions

Tears 

Onion tears crying

for dead mama

Onion tears crying

in aged birthday

No cryin here

 

         Sorry

Catch a bus 

to the midwest 

Leave her ashes 

     at the Landhaus

       Stock up

on Landejaeger 

It's all fat 

YOU CAN SEE IT!

 white fatty greasy spots

    

Tear up 

Nope 

Nope

 

      Nope tears for dead

Mom

 McMurtry 

Hemingway

Fitzgerald

     Some writers

What's that guys name 

DH Lawrence 

    Sons and Lovers

    Zola, Emile

Appolinaire? Don't know shit 

about poets 

- L. Ron Howard

Texas fantasy writer

Or is it  Hubbard

Praise Xenu!

 

 Is the world going to hell?

Maybe it's just me. Everything fucking irritates me. I don't know why. My seratonin has gone down the dumpster? Who knows? I think I need my brain sedated. Maybe electro shock therapy ? I need to be McMurpy'ed like cuckoos nest. But he became a veg. So maybe not that extreme. Everything bugs me. Oh well. Poor me. Get over it dipstick 

 Cold cold brew in a can leftover from yesterday

some bird outside is making noise

I got farm peaches ripe and super sweet and juicy.

Try buying those in the city. Not gonna happen. 

Last night I tried to sleep in the living room but there was some weird smell and I started thinking it was a dead animal. So I got freaked out and went back to the bedroom. The lights don't work in the bedroom. Why? Rats ate the wires? Who the fuck knows? You can't hire a goddamn electrician to come out and fix it or have the fucking CARETAKER call an electrician? He's been in a trailer behind the house for forty years and does he take care of anything? He takes care of the washer/dryer. 

Ah well it's a sweet little place too bad it's such a reminder of a failed marriage. Blah. Maybe the John Wayne print will perk it up. Maybe not Pilgrim.

 Good day to die

66th birthday

I got nothin goin on

Nobody gives a rats ass if I'm alive or dead

But there is some good thrifting out here. 

I got a framed 20x24 etching of John Wayne for 40% off in Cotati. Some Chomsky paperbacks for a dollar each. On Anarchy. And something else. At those prices I can't pass it up. 

 

 I find fault

Wherever I go

What's with that

Nothings to my expectations 

Like I want to live in some kind of perfect world 

While actually the world is going to shit

Jesus would never do that would he?

Buddha would never do that - get mad because a steak was overcooked, over spiced? Well I'm no fucking Buddha I just want a decent fucking meal you fucktards

Harrumph 

 

 

 I tried

but little success

I guess poetry wasn't in the cards for me

Maybe I didn't work hard enough at it

To understand it 

sometimes I'd get it, mostly

spoken word or the New Yorker lol

Weird dichotomy but heh

I used to go to poetry readings

It was usually the same cast of characters every week

They all seemed like they were on anti depressant medications or should have been

Vampyre Mike was cool

He had a backpack with room temperature malt liquor tall boys 

Dominique Lowell was passionate and a junkie 

Rafael was a former Franco youth poet/anarchist crazy drug fiend

Sparrow 13, Julia Vinograd, Bucky Sinister and others I can't remember their names right now. 

Every Thursday at a spot on Guerrero and 22nd? with aluminum

Siding walls and bleacher stands seating

Cafe Babar 

The Babarians 

Occasionally Dawn and I would provide musical interludes. We'd do songs like Wish You Were Beer, Satans Your Buddy, Too Much Shit, and Truckload of Art. 

Dawn and I would sometimes sit at the kitchen table at home and get drunk and try to write songs. Sometimes successfully sometimes nope. 

 

 

 

 Burroughs 

Orwell

Fante

Dostoyevsky 

Bradbury

Bukowski

Miller

Cendrars

Celine

Kerouac

Giono

Calvino

Bowles

Thesiger

 Mega

    MIND

(don't bother)

       symptoms of SOCIETY

     peace will come to you and yours

I know that "all things pass"

   BUT IM CONSTIGRATED 

or sumpin

   automated calls

Please identify urself 

     to conninue 

bzhdry

   Adruuugre 

jfhgf 

"Times are Changin"

   Puoiol leeeze

Where is Tenochtitlan?

   Dinosaurs and Volcanoes and campeche

and tortillas and horses

I'm not the only one

There are others 

Millions in fact

 Suicide cowboy rides a sad pony

death don't know don't care could give a shit

The town of "death" is next up

Cowpoke , so don't 

you worry 

your tired worn out Texas boots

on shit kickin pachucos

Pinche pendejoses 

tequila dogs 

or mescalin mamas

read more Sam Shepard 

Patti Smith cowboy

Brand a lady Beckett style

and spread her wanton dreams across the valley stage

and bow to the lost calves in Inspiration Valley

with lanterns and water sacks and beans

Beans beans beans

 

 Suicide monkey

breathing in forest air

A month will recalibrate your entire chakra

Or adjust your carburetor 

Pull the choke 

Pump the gas

 I'm

Losing 

It

What it is I'm not sure

but it ain't here

or it is 

but I can't find it

buried under a mass of old sorrows

and stupid curses tired worn out stupid non curses and such

Ya know just your basic mess

But I'm starting to not worry about it

Who cares?!

Fuck it!

Time for bed!