2x 

nuthin

          is still not much

   so no matter

     I've placed my bet

on a long shot-

sucker bet

       they say

   but oh when they hit

                    Everybody will be jealous 

       Or not 

I don't know 

                  No one's paying attention

So

do whatever you want

     

 It's always yesterday here

the dust and dirt 

where the antelopes play

No one's gonna give you a home-

a woman in baggy pants stands

in a ballet stance

There's a word for it

but she just wants coffee

and there's no tomorrow today

Ezra Pound said that

 Pooh Bear pajama clad older lady

Walks in shadows of the moon

Eeyore laughs

Owl confused

 Wet & Foggy

beautiful late summer morning

Orange haired teen gals buying iced lattes

 Commensurate 

UPS package

             1388 Haight St

      destination 

towards Mt Doom

Mr Frodo

      Blacula

                    in Fogsylvania 

get some crack

for your friend

     move on done

                         she worries about a woman watching

and hides it

for a vape

      and his face is black and green

                    from hitting the sidewalk 

blacked out

but he works the bar

               and is still pissed off 

like usual

 

 Centered

unlike meself 

Nit Brit

      Try me

                    some other day

    germanic? germaphobe!

      Try me 

another day

         but it won't matter

I say hello

you say goodbye

      put on another LP

 I'm falling

onward

toward nothing

Where's nothing

Nowhere

leaves of brown and green

and I'm trying to write

But it's working

To some degree

Some would contest that

and it's within their rights

I guess

I don't know 

I don't make the fucking rules

The End

Of Crime

And Crimea his wife

Roman mythology I think

or perhaps Etruscan

Mycenaean 

Minoan

Maserati

A baby's arm holding an apple

 I don't like hearing him talk

too high pitched and kind of whiny

on the page he's okay 

but his real voice!

Jeez no!

 Point San Pablo

was jumping last night

all the tables were full

and folks were dancing to the band

I had three glasses of champagne 

the band was actually good for such a small place 

at the end of a bumpy road in the middle of nowhere

people who couldn't get a table for an hour were talking kinda dressed up

My friend keeps his boat out there and he says his boat is infested with fleas

Bummer!

He knew where they came from. 

A poor dumb dog named Magnum. 

Poor Magnum!

 

 I

am 

forensic

                 challenged

I've tried 

other routes  

                        but they didn't work for me

I've borrowed 

                  paints

            plants 

      pine

         pistachios

                        some okay

    others nope

                          I had to learn to make do

                               to try and get along

            not that hard really

just chill with the snide zingers

I think it was third grade

I got the call 

I've never been the same since

 I'm feeling

old I'm eating a leftover burrito 

from a few days ago

I took the foil off and I'm microwaving it

I covered it with cheese before I microwaved it

It's a pre packaged slice of sharp cheddar

and now I'm kind of just eating the tortilla and cheese

It's HOT and the cheese is all melty

Yep exciting days

It's all kind of brightly gray outside

and it's rumored to be a Sunday

so yeah that's that

 

 The tide of dark energy 

does that exist

Giving names to forces beyond us

We don't know 

     Do I exist?

Lol

 Def not!

You are an impression of a nothing fragmented a billion sextillion meandering moping leaves of brown and green

Floundering thru something?

Or nothing? 

same thing

Check

And 

Mate

 Scratch

   that 

        I'm not the 

                one who put everything in

a pile 

    and walked away

   oh wait 

 have you seen my room?

         Oof

       I'm a collector

          Unfortunately my space is limited

So hmm 

   problems 

   Oh well 

     Live and let live 

      I guess

     

 Miracles 

see the sky

Breathe the air

Join Humanity again

Power still out

Miracles

Breathe

Try the criminal 

Ignore atrocities and celebrate financial gains

Purge the nation use that excuse to spend US billions on friends businesses

PM McSkeavepussy (pencil mustache) will fix the vandalized pool (pool vandals are fucking everywhere!)

Breathe

Lie cheat lie again steal launder millions thru block head coins

Life is good

 

 Power out

So QUIET

like nothing

No fan

No heater

The world has gone quiet

Everyone is dead

Even stupid crows

No cars

No trains 

Or planes

Life as we know it has ended

I'm the only one left alive

(dream as a kid- even then I disliked people)

I can live wherever I want 

Drive any car

Do anything!

 Steep

sleep

 nope

              I'm in bed

                        

and

here's to  

nothing 

On anti ziaty 

     Catatonic? 

Nope

Check

Pee

Check

Hungry 

Nope 

Check

   Nurse practitioner 

Do you think of hurting 

Yourself or anyone else

     Umm maybe  

     your stupid office 

fot not scheduling a physician 

To fill in for the doctors

Paternity leave

Wtf?

 the sleeping bonnet

trips you up

no fancy lace here

a reminder of lost days 

you roll over again 

There's no way

Ben Franklin did this

burning wood stove 

dries out the night air

But there is none 

just a plug in fan heater 

and Hester Brin 

what she do now?

Slut! 

 Gripe

   gripe

        grip

a thought 

  I'm not trying

I'm too tired 

  Altho what the hootenanny?

 It's 6:42 pm? 

Dr gave me anti anxiety pills

but now I feel kinda weird

Oh blah blah blah

Poor me I'm old and worn out and I take anti anxiety pills

Hah

I'm my mother! 

God forbid!

  Walk the path buddy

   buy the ticket 

     Skip the line

Housemate coughing in hall

Smoke another three doobies buddy

He once told me Greek women have mustaches because their men are at sea so much and they need to compete with other sailors - serious 

 the fountains of Green

poured into their soles

their feet ached but their heads were okay

the fountains of Green were worshipped as Holy

but they were just algae

And yet Algae had powers unsuspected? Unknown?

Who knows? 

The president dud did all he could to remove it by hiring his "pool guy" Pencil Mustache McSkeazepussy

PM McSkeazebag and his coterie of ilks. 

The Lost Tribe of Israel

Hiding in Armenia in a small one hour photo lab.

"Come back tomorrow"

 

 

 Stupid Green Men

not lead soldiers(those are we

Ok w guns)

I'm just a kid in an old man's body

Stupid Green Men

everywhere 

  Ohhmmm jhhgcxcv g did

Yeah yah yo

 I mostly just do this because I'm bored

Sorry if it isn't more interesting

but whatever 

I think it entertains me laying in bed

watching the fog blow by

Trying to ignore my housemates 

Wondering if I'm

Hungry 

or if I need to pee again

Old age is such a hoot!

I'm

Thinking 

Of 

Hitting the road and just going until 

The moneys all gone

 

 stupid 

        ears of green

   sordid imbrocations 

of non existent and the like

it's a way to find your soul

  

     say what you won't 

because

  that's just the way you are

No aunts uncles cousins sisters dads 

   gonna change that

so fuck it 

   get on with it 

 

   as if you wouldn't 

   anyhoo

 I don't have anything to say

but whatever

God is watching over me

I am blessed by fortune

Unless I just jinxed it

I keep listening to the same singer/songwriter 

kinda dirge sad lonely stuff

makes me feel good 

I'm not the only miserable person in the world

EVERYBODY'S LOVING LIFE BUT YOU!

yeah fuck em I've got a fucking Hyundai named Huichol

That's the dealership- Huichol Hyundai

I drive a Shaman 

Thru rainforests with multi colored panthers

Everywhere is vibrant dyed yarn reality

Panthers Jaguars Weird Mexican Deer with horns

Iguanas Spiders Tarantulas etc

Women making tortillas and laughing 

 I took pills

8 or 9 or ten different shapes

sizes colors every fucking day

gotta keep my numbers in order

But I feel like a goddamn sloth on Qualudes

is that why I drink so much coffee

Not feeling right today

But the sun is out somethings not as it should be

grey grey grey is what I'm used to don't 

confuse me with sunshine and birds and doorbells

and cars and Nariah Carey

Narnia Carey

Go read a pamphlet on STD's 

And Drugs 

 Stoic 

betrothal

me and my pain

me and my Hyundai 

Parting the seas

Driving the tears

Thru mudbath carwash 

and sunken eyed Napoleon dreams

In Georgia orphanage 

walked to Pensacola

after a 49 year old man was conscripted and died

in a train crash

Now their home is a Naval runway next to the Gulf

Pleasant Grove Baptist Church 

 All bad news

Why can't I stop looking?

Just the way it is

I try to sleep it away

but bad dreams 

So what are ya gonna do?

Every day more bullshit

Most of it is just in my head

Blah blah blah 

Sorry

 I'm 66

Going on 666

The Devil has his own itinerary

I think he keeps it in a day planner

Black and Red

Days of the week

Thursday: Stir the pot

of sturmindrang (?)

  - must be some kind of soup? 

Who knew he was so organized?!

 Bleak Grey

To my soul

The bitter oceans 

In black

Yup that's it black oceans!

 Tried a thousand 

ways not to be me

I thought it would be easy

     but I couldn't shake me-

         like a shadow 

I'm always there 

here

   wherever

even in some fancy big city

a thousand miles away

Yup reflection

that guy

drinking helps

A LOT at times too much

so 

so what 

   Now I just hide 

from the demons

But they're out there 

I know they are

 

 I 

tried

to 

Right

The wrongs

Of

tomorrow 

but

      it's 

not working out

so I'll kick

it 

in my 

head

Kick in the bed

Kick in the motherfucking HEAD

and Excedrin Extra Strength

w Lacative Joe 

What?

Oh

never 

 mind

     sometimes it's like no one gives a shit

   but why should they

        Do football players know about CTE

UH DUH

    and they choose to continue playing?

(It won't happen to me ) ?

Any hoo what about boxers 

Money

Fame

Women 

More money

Who needs a brain anyhow 

Are you so much smarter?

Than me???

Lol

Nowhere 

time 

crosses

the river

river Jordan

Place your 

bets 

Ladies 

and Gentlemen 

To your right

Is Elvis Presley's

maids 

house

Rumors 

are she was 

African American 

Say what 

you will

I 

 don't

        KNOW

nuthin

say a prayer

             say a mutherfuckin 

prayuh 

    lambo

  Mccowhorn 

  

 Out 

In 

The 

           Wastelands

   the hinter

   visor 

Fuggetmenots 

time

ain't 

      no 

        Thing

It's a walk

in the park

geologically 

born

    The Witches

 are 

  out

in

Death 

      Valle 

muerto 

VALLE

comme si

   comme ca 

 caballero

   don't leave

    the car old 

  frenchmen 

I'm spouting

nothingness

     to the wind

because

I'm bored 

drunk 

In bed

Sick

  old

    white haired

  Guy 

 with

 bad 

dreams

the shelves collapsed!!

he got 

CRUSHED

  clear the way

It's 

another 

 dream

 

for 

no 

one

No Bolinas 

fog

boats 

dogs

  Kids 

at 

Fishing  

Camp

Catch 

And 

Release 

Understand?

 Summer

you can't really tell here

I'm not sure what you'd call what we have

Once summer is dead we have a chance at some hot weather 

  The coldest winter...

was a summer with your mother...

  - Mark Twain's dad

The cold fog pours off the ocean 

sucked in thru the Golden Gate

the bridge is orange

Orange you glad I didn't say banana

Knock knock

Who's there? 

Fall 

You can tell by the smell -

September in California can be brutal on school kids

COLD in the morning

HOT in the afternoon

Chaparral!!

High chaparral 

Low chaparral 

What's the difference? 

Dunno

Keep them doggies rollin

RAWHIDE!

 

 Tears

    for years

you break the ice

                 and

                        fall

      

                            the water

   is 

freaking 

  

            brain 

  cold

 you're gonna die pilgrim

          better say yer prayuhs 

  

    to Jeebus Krisen 

  

        on circle hill

Or Cycle Hell 

     

       You got nothing

   no one!

 Well some 

     who'll miss ya

Cuz you were a weirdo

     and you made em laugh

 Words

      And tempers

Bitter 

Onions

Tears 

Onion tears crying

for dead mama

Onion tears crying

in aged birthday

No cryin here

 

         Sorry

Catch a bus 

to the midwest 

Leave her ashes 

     at the Landhaus

       Stock up

on Landejaeger 

It's all fat 

YOU CAN SEE IT!

 white fatty greasy spots

    

Tear up 

Nope 

Nope

 

      Nope tears for dead

Mom

 McMurtry 

Hemingway

Fitzgerald

     Some writers

What's that guys name 

DH Lawrence 

    Sons and Lovers

    Zola, Emile

Appolinaire? Don't know shit 

about poets 

- L. Ron Howard

Texas fantasy writer

Or is it  Hubbard

Praise Xenu!

 

 Is the world going to hell?

Maybe it's just me. Everything fucking irritates me. I don't know why. My seratonin has gone down the dumpster? Who knows? I think I need my brain sedated. Maybe electro shock therapy ? I need to be McMurpy'ed like cuckoos nest. But he became a veg. So maybe not that extreme. Everything bugs me. Oh well. Poor me. Get over it dipstick 

 Cold cold brew in a can leftover from yesterday

some bird outside is making noise

I got farm peaches ripe and super sweet and juicy.

Try buying those in the city. Not gonna happen. 

Last night I tried to sleep in the living room but there was some weird smell and I started thinking it was a dead animal. So I got freaked out and went back to the bedroom. The lights don't work in the bedroom. Why? Rats ate the wires? Who the fuck knows? You can't hire a goddamn electrician to come out and fix it or have the fucking CARETAKER call an electrician? He's been in a trailer behind the house for forty years and does he take care of anything? He takes care of the washer/dryer. 

Ah well it's a sweet little place too bad it's such a reminder of a failed marriage. Blah. Maybe the John Wayne print will perk it up. Maybe not Pilgrim.

 Good day to die

66th birthday

I got nothin goin on

Nobody gives a rats ass if I'm alive or dead

But there is some good thrifting out here. 

I got a framed 20x24 etching of John Wayne for 40% off in Cotati. Some Chomsky paperbacks for a dollar each. On Anarchy. And something else. At those prices I can't pass it up. 

 

 I find fault

Wherever I go

What's with that

Nothings to my expectations 

Like I want to live in some kind of perfect world 

While actually the world is going to shit

Jesus would never do that would he?

Buddha would never do that - get mad because a steak was overcooked, over spiced? Well I'm no fucking Buddha I just want a decent fucking meal you fucktards

Harrumph 

 

 

 I tried

but little success

I guess poetry wasn't in the cards for me

Maybe I didn't work hard enough at it

To understand it 

sometimes I'd get it, mostly

spoken word or the New Yorker lol

Weird dichotomy but heh

I used to go to poetry readings

It was usually the same cast of characters every week

They all seemed like they were on anti depressant medications or should have been

Vampyre Mike was cool

He had a backpack with room temperature malt liquor tall boys 

Dominique Lowell was passionate and a junkie 

Rafael was a former Franco youth poet/anarchist crazy drug fiend

Sparrow 13, Julia Vinograd, Bucky Sinister and others I can't remember their names right now. 

Every Thursday at a spot on Guerrero and 22nd? with aluminum

Siding walls and bleacher stands seating

Cafe Babar 

The Babarians 

Occasionally Dawn and I would provide musical interludes. We'd do songs like Wish You Were Beer, Satans Your Buddy, Too Much Shit, and Truckload of Art. 

Dawn and I would sometimes sit at the kitchen table at home and get drunk and try to write songs. Sometimes successfully sometimes nope. 

 

 

 

 Burroughs 

Orwell

Fante

Dostoyevsky 

Bradbury

Bukowski

Miller

Cendrars

Celine

Kerouac

Giono

Calvino

Bowles

Thesiger

 Mega

    MIND

(don't bother)

       symptoms of SOCIETY

     peace will come to you and yours

I know that "all things pass"

   BUT IM CONSTIGRATED 

or sumpin

   automated calls

Please identify urself 

     to conninue 

bzhdry

   Adruuugre 

jfhgf 

"Times are Changin"

   Puoiol leeeze

Where is Tenochtitlan?

   Dinosaurs and Volcanoes and campeche

and tortillas and horses

I'm not the only one

There are others 

Millions in fact

 Suicide cowboy rides a sad pony

death don't know don't care could give a shit

The town of "death" is next up

Cowpoke , so don't 

you worry 

your tired worn out Texas boots

on shit kickin pachucos

Pinche pendejoses 

tequila dogs 

or mescalin mamas

read more Sam Shepard 

Patti Smith cowboy

Brand a lady Beckett style

and spread her wanton dreams across the valley stage

and bow to the lost calves in Inspiration Valley

with lanterns and water sacks and beans

Beans beans beans

 

 Suicide monkey

breathing in forest air

A month will recalibrate your entire chakra

Or adjust your carburetor 

Pull the choke 

Pump the gas

 I'm

Losing 

It

What it is I'm not sure

but it ain't here

or it is 

but I can't find it

buried under a mass of old sorrows

and stupid curses tired worn out stupid non curses and such

Ya know just your basic mess

But I'm starting to not worry about it

Who cares?!

Fuck it!

Time for bed!

 

 CHRISTEN

   the BEJEEBUS

out of 

  the GOD forsaken

  forsook

kooks 

Yeah yah ya 

You've got a friend 

James Taylor

  Sumpin

 somethin 

  Sumthin 

BS 

 Nah

No 

Nope 

Not 

Today

 Okay maybe 

  today 

Yup

 I get tired pretty easy

by 4 in the afternoon 

I'm pretty much done

I guess from getting up at 4:30 in the morning 

Yawn!

Stop the presses!

Old man tired in afternoon!

Newsweek Tired Man Of The Year!

Sorry not me 

tired of the bullshit

 

 Christening the flower pots

of sunshine

and made up poems of death

With praying mantis

Wives

eating the heads of their mates

and smiling and ordering take out chinese 

and getting mad about the sui mai

being too salty

 

 

Gray sky

gray morning

gray ocean

gray emotions

Yellow

Orange

Blue 

Fuck you!

I live in gray

Get out!

Horrors of Hellhounds 

Named Spot or Farley Mowat

Who are you?

Grey Greystone Jr

Or the Third

I forget who my father was

I remember mom

Hubly she said 

But that was wrong

Death dream with her old bf

Mom wasn't exactly a talker

Grey-

Grey moms give grey births

Never a story 

Never shared shit

Nothing to say

But she always won

That card game about improper things

I forget its name 

 Grey

Flowers of death

Christian death cult

Renounce life 

Flagellate yourself to the canyons of shame

Or not

Hah

 

 I've got itchy armpits

My eyes are going

My legs are okay

My metabolism has been stabilized

I've lost weight

I quit heavy drinking

Smoking

Drugs

All the fun stuff

Now I'm old and feel tired most of the time

I like driving

Moving 

Keep

Fucking moving

If a place ain't happening / SEE YA!

I like babies and dogs

Goats are okay but not very cuddly

Cats are nice but weird

Life kinda sucks but 

I got it pretty fucking good

 I cant explain why

don't fucking ask

the soldiers surround the house

they shoot out the porch light

and laugh

you know they're a bunch of assholes

you turn on the radio

KPOO is blasting some jazz blues African disco

You fix a martini and have a seat

let the fuckers come

 

 There's no ache like tomorrow 

Your pants are green

Some people don't care 

You try not to worry

But forget about it  it's like getting mad at clouds

Some people

Some people  

Some people  

You jump in the car and DRIVE

GOT TO GET AWAY!

But you're still in need of coffee

and nicotine thank you

the little things make you happy

a parking spot not cleaned until Tuesday

An elephant that knows your name

a dog on a beach who you give cheese to

and he follows you around the whole time

you give him a name and throw sticks

he chases them excitedly but won't put them in his mouth

smart dog

 Fortunate 

privada 

lose your tomorrow 

Anyhoo

Don't try 

Ya can't fake it

Till ya make it

That's just a made up fakenstein 

built from dead parts and 

called my creature

who's "Alive"

He'll drown that little girl

Hide beneath the fire

drink with the blind man 

Who fiddles

Until he turns into 

some actor

"I was gonna make espresso!"

 

 Michael McClure 

as Wolfman 

on the cover of a poetry book

brought me in here 

I can't find it

Wait for the full moon!

 pork chow mein

making me sleepy

double espresso isn't helping

or maybe it is

 Fat legged

shorts guy

with a gut 

and black glasses

and a baseball hat

 words bore me

reams of bound feelings

emotions

Bah

 I sit it in the poetry room

of City Lights

and try to think of poetry 

Nope nothing

 

 Bbq pork chow mein

after getting a crown put on

Sam Wo

Been here a hundred years

or something 

 Stuck in angry land

everything pisses me off

stupid housemates leave lights on all night

dentist whose crown falls off after four days

now I gotta go down there 

Shit everywhere 

Stupid fucking shit

Everywhere

 I think I'm getting old

friends are starting to do odd things

I can't understand-

poor choices- say what?! and then what?!

after an hour of that you start to worry

Ok I know they've been through some traumas recently

but jeez

 Edibles

shmedibles

even in Texas 

marijuana is called a gallon of gas

I think

How much to fill the tank?

What are you talking? 

Hitch a trailer go to jail

El Paso cops have seen it all

They'll take white haired old people to jail

with a truck full of Halston originals and modern posters 

Don't ask

"Someone gave him a pistol on the trip"

What?

$300 lunch- birthday treat!

 Somebody keeps calling me

and I don't want to talk

It'll just be some frantic you gotta do this

or you gotta do that

fuckna I'll do whatever I want lol

I'm meeting you in two hours 

I don't need a run down right now 

Okay calm down let it go

Jeez

 Not my worries

let it go 

Cochise

you got other battles to fight

Yah I know it's hot and dry

and the white men all got horses 

and clean blue uniforms 

but fuck em 

They can't survive out here

 

 Point San Pablo

Is a little sprit 

sticking out at the top of the bay

It's backed by many oil tanks of Point Richmond

giant ones

and it makes you wonder about toxic waste 

the road in is a tiny little thing 

with giant speed bumps every hundred feet or so

the marina looks out on blue green and brown water of the bay depending how deep it is

houseboats like Sausalito in the seventies

reside there charged per sq foot 

People live in them 

A large old navy research ship is 

Stuck in the mud out there

Supposedly a guy named Bobby owns it

and has signs all around it

KEEP OUT

DANGEROUS

PRIVATE PROPERTY

DO NOT ENTER

My friend says Bobby is a little whack