It was the third bus to go by.
They were all full.
Bundled up commuters looked up at him from their magazines for a fraction of a second and then back to their magazines.
He flung his lunch sack into the garbage can.
"Fuck it- I'm taking the day off."
He knew his boss would can him. He didn't care. It was his sixth job in as many months.
The first had been as a door to door enumerator. The local Chamber of Commerce had decided to collect information on every house in the city, kind of like a private census. The Chamber had hired a company J.R.PUCHE to gather the data and publish it and PUCHE had hired him to gather the data.
"Kid, don't let 'em scare you off- tell 'em you work for the City and it's required information for police and fire emergency information." His boss wore his life on his shoulder like a dead monkey.
The July sun was beating down on him.
He rang the bell at the first house. Nothing. He rang again. A woman's voice yelled from inside the house.
"Go around to the BACK!"
He walked across the dead grass of the front lawn to the driveway. There was an old Dodge Valiant in the driveway with the hood up. The rest of the driveway was strewn with broken toys and motorcycle parts and a large red tool box.
A woman was on the back step wearing shorts and a Led Zeppelin t-shirt. She was smoking a cigarette. Her hair was brown and dishevelled. Her nipples were pronounced.
"You're here to fix the car right? Jimmy said you'd be coming over. Are you friends with Jimmy? He's my brother but he's such a fucking flake, I haven't heard from him for three days- he said you'd be here on Tuesday. Well, it's right there, take a look."
She slammed the screen door on her way back in.
He stood there for a second.
"Hey lady, I'm..."
His voice trailed off.
"Oh well fuck it."
He walked over to the car and peered under the hood. He knew about cars from when he was in high school. He had fixed flats and done minor repairs at a gas station on North L St.
He got behind the wheel. The key was in it. He tried to start it and it turned over but wouldn't catch.
Okay, he thought, spark plugs. He pulled a couple plugs but they looked fine. The distributor looked okay and he didn't want to open it. He wasn't going to do anything to the points.
He sat down and smoked a cigarette. And then another one.
"What the fuck am I doing here?'
He really didn't want to go door to door asking people stupid questions about their stupid lives. Most people had the brains of a doorstop and they'd as soon piss on you if they thought there was something in it for them.
He got up and looked down at the engine. He took off the air filter and peered down into the carburetor.
"What the fuck?"
The head of small doll was wedged into the intake manifold. One of its eyes was gone.
The other one was blue and stared up at him. He threw the head on the ground.
The car started with a roar.
"Yes!"
The woman came running out.
"YOU FIXED IT!"
She was excited. She flung herself against him. He could feel her breasts pushing against him.
"YOU'RE AMAZING. THANK YOU,THANK YOU,THANK YOU!
He was starting to get a hard on from all the thank you's.
"Okay well, tell Jimmy he owes me one."
"Oh you're not getting away that easy."
She took him by the hand and led him into the house.
She was a screamer.
"YES, YES GOD YES OMIGOD THAT IS OMIGOD HOLY FUCKING OMIGOD."
In the next room the TV was on loud. The Price Is Right was on. Bob Barker was talking to a middle aged woman about whether she wanted to risk it all.
He didn't hear the motorcycle pull up to the house.
He heard a man's voice behind him.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!"
There was a crashing pain on the back of his head and then blackness.
When he woke up it was dark. He hurt in too many places. Then he saw a crack of bright light.
'Where the fuck am I?'
He was laying in a pile of of unidentifiable stuff. He realized he was in a dumpster. He pulled himself up and pushed the dumpster lid open. The searing light hurt his eyes and his head was swimming in pain.
He crawled out of the dumpster and walked home.
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