Wednesday, October 30, 2024
Saturday, October 26, 2024
Childhood is a magical land
One we can never return to.
A land of mystery and suspense.
A land of sadness, tears and laughter
The powers that be are hidden in forests and words
We climb pine trees unthinking of danger
And hate the pine sap stuck to hands
Adults are strange creatures
With strange ideas and issues
They are the Sausalito of cities
With a strange hat shop
That we love.
Friday, October 25, 2024
I feel so bored
But of course no one wants to hear it
The spiders are tiny and crawl outside the window of my car
They make webs from the side mirrors to the the doors
Why? What are spiders doing on my car? And why are they so tiny?
I voted yesterday and put my ballot in the box at my local library. Then I went inside and pissed.
Thursday, October 24, 2024
The Red Sox were a beautiful dream
Rico Petrocelli Yaz Mike somebody
Is that all I can remember?
It was a baseball bat - vanilla with fudge
Like ice cream - vanilla fudge
So smooth and cool to the touch
I tried out for the team in third grade
Every day I asked
Did I get the call?!
Bouncing a ball off a brick building tore the web out of my JANA baseball glove
So what did I do?
I fucking cried!
I loved baseball
The managed crisis
Like an institution of wtf
We're here to help
But lo and behold behold
Betwixt gif and the deal
Slay the bunnies!
The coyotes are kings
ACME has no say in the matter
Change the channel to UHF they said
But we lived way out in the country
Georges barn was covered in antlers
That's a lot of venison burgers
And keep
An eye
On that dog
He is not friendly
Wednesday, October 23, 2024
Monday, October 21, 2024
Earnest the Mouse continued his story.
"So there I was in the lap of luxury enjoying each day when I heard a dreaded word!"
The group was on tinderhooks.
"What?" Said Janet Giraffe.
"What word?!" Gasped Pablo Pig.
Earnest looked each of them in the eye before he said anything.
"CAT!"
The others looked at the others slightly confused.
"And I knew that my presence had not gone undetected! Although I don't speak human a few words are quite well known amongst the Mouse kingdom."
"Like what?" Said Theo Salamander.
"Oh, words like Cat, Cheese, Slim Jims, Peanut butter, mouse trap, sticky pads." Said Earnest the Mouse.
"Ohh" said the group.
"Cats are killers of mice! They do it to please the humans, they won't even eat us. Just kill us and then drag our dead bodies to show their human masters the work they've done!
"That hardly seems very nice" Said Theo Salamander.
"Not very nice at all!" Said Earnest the Mouse.
Earnest the Mouse was having a beautiful day.
All his friends were there. Rikki Raccoon, Pablo Pig, Stuart Owl, Janet Giraffe, and Theo Salamander.
The sun was shining and it was a nice warm day. They had all met by the creek side and were having a picnic.
There were baguettes and cheese, cucumbers w yogurt, bits of pumpkin covered with arugula, popcorn w sweet sauce, and vanilla ice cream.
Earnest was telling the tale of when he lived in the city.
"Oh it was a very big city. With scary coyotes!"
"Ooh" the bunch shuddered.
"Coyotes in a city?" Asked Janet Giraffe.
"YES! Can you believe it? What are coyotes doing in a city?! But there they were just as happy as they could be. Frolicking at the beach at sunset with a giant orange bridge off in the distance."
"Ohhhh" said everyone.
"I had been living near a building but I was hungry and it's so much nicer inside"
"Hmm" said the collective group.
"So I found a way up and in and the people who lived there were so very slow and dull and messy."
"Sounds like humans" said Pablo Pig.
"Yes they're quite messy" said Stuart Owl.
"Yes, they are." Agreed Theo Salamander.
"So I took up residence. Weeks went by that I went from room to room snatching up crumbs of potato chips, peanut butter cookies and sometimes, Salami!"
"It was warm and cozy. One room had an older man who had heaps of clothes on the floor and I made the that my home base. The old fellows hearing wasn't so good so I could chomp away with impunity!"
"Is Impunity your girlfriend?" Asked Janet Giraffe.
"Kinda!" Said Earnest Mouse.
The others laughed heartily.
Sunday, October 20, 2024
After his brother came home with two pizzas he asked us if we wanted pizza?
We tried to act like we weren't high as fuck and said sure but the pizza was scalding hot and was dripping all over. We were like what the fuck! We were watching Gumball Rally and that shit was fucking wacko. The colors were bouncing around like the tv need some serious technician to work on it. Also peoples faces were all fucked up and weird.
After the pizza his brother said you guys gotta go my girlfriend's coming over. Again we were like WTF?
It was starting to rain outside as the three of us headed to my old battleship grey Ford Fairlane.
The sidewalk was covered with rain drops in the shape of rose bushes spelling out words we couldn't read.
I started it up and we head out through the California tract house development. Immediately Evan yelled out "Dude Slow down!"
I was all dude I'm going fifteen miles an hour. Lol
Endowed by a night in 63 Ford Fairlane
Your eyes were 7-11's on acid
Everyone was a caricature or a cartoon.
After we got kicked out of Evan's place cuz his little brothers girlfriend was coming over we hit the edge of the suburbs. Empty fields on one side giant stucco wall across the road parked behind an empty big rig. We were high as fuck after eating all the purple blotter paper pieces. After eating one and waiting a half hour and not feeling it we decided to eat all the rest. Questionable decision. Twenty minutes later we couldn't feel our legs and the colors on the color tv had all become ridiculously intense and hyper real. Every emotion on the actors faces was revealed in stop motion hyper speed slowed down to antiquated time reveals. Boom bang bing boff!
The talk went on endlessly leaving a trail of echoes behind us. The talk was cyclical. We'd eventually come back to "What if the cops show up?" Then we realized it was just part of the cycle and forgot about it.
Derk and I spent the night on Evans parents water bed. It was like trying to sleep on a giant woman's breast.
Saturday, October 19, 2024
Hah I can bore your fucking tits off
John had a buddy who had a buddy that had a blue 240z.
He lived way out on Morgan Territory Road in a fairly new house but there wasn't a tree for miles. Just hot dry California hills. His parents bought him the car because the bus didn't go anywhere near them.
This guy, Nick, invited them to a party his brother threw because the parents were out of town. It was all guys. They had a glass bowl filled with joints. The brother would light one pass it on and then another and another. Pretty soon everyone had one and was totally stoned. Everyone tried to pass their joint but everyone was no I'm good.
They listened to ELP's album Tarkus. Prog rock with hella keyboards about an Armadillo tank doing battle with Pterodactyl birds in a rainbow landscape.
There wasn't any food except chips and salsa.
At one point John and Derk were like let's get the fuck out of here. They got in John's 63 Ford Fairlane and split.
Wednesday, October 16, 2024
Dumby saw Salty at Denny's
"Yo what up?"
"How's the hand?"
"Aww it's okay. I can still point. Hah but flipping people off is now relegated to the left"
"What are you doing here so early?"
"My old man got drunk and we got in a fight"
"I hope you kicked his ass. He deserves it"
"Yeah I beat him pretty good. He told me to get the fuck out."
"You can stay with us. My mom would be cool with it and my brothers room is empty since he joined the Air Force"
"Really?! Hey that would be cool."
"I'll get some clothes."
"Okay come over in about an hour"
"Okay. Hey thanks"
"No worries"
The green overfeldt portrayed as a 87 Chevy Conquistador.
Dumby got in and went for a drive.
It was early Saturday morning and it was a little chilly.
He never should have shot that old gun. Why did they even have that old gun he wondered about his grandparents.
Well what's done is done, it's not like I could ever play the violin.
He turned on the radio and Merle Haggard's Big City was on. Dumby sang along.
Tuesday, October 15, 2024
He'd reached his peak
But it was nowheresville.
He bought a 30.06 at Sears.
"I'm gonna do some shootin' "
He went out to the grassy knoll near the highway.
"Gonna kill some motherfuckers"
But he had the wrong bullets.
The clerk gave him .44's
"These don't fucking fit!"
He put it all in the trunk and drove to Wendy's
"Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce
special orders don't upset us!"
Tuesday, October 08, 2024
Salty's dad drank too much
He got canned for the umpteenth time and Salty's mom supported them working for the school district.
Salty had an after school and weekend job helping out at the Wal-Mart. Salty had a Mercury Montego that was on its last legs.
Dad was usually passed out when Salty got home. He tried to stay away from home as much as possible. He felt bad for his little sister and tried to help her where he could.
"Here's some money. Do not fucking tell dad."
"Ya think I'm stupid?!"
"Umm yeah!"
"Fuck you! Thanks for the money"
Jeannie was fourteen. But she weren't exactly a glamour gal. Kinda skinny and red haired and not all that popular.
"I'm going shopping on Saturday with Lynette!"
"Sears?"
"NO! Dumbass. We're going to Southland mall!"
"Hmm. Shopping for some dick?"
"EWW YOU CREEP!"
"Hahaha"
Attila was stoned
He had on one of his dads lp's.
"Attila!"
His mom was yelling.
"Come set the table"
"Aww fuck"
They lived on Arbor Court.
His mom was born in England and still had her British accent.
His dad's name was Boris but everyone called him Corky. He worked for Valley Heating & AC.
Attila's oldest sister had run off and was living in Hawaii. They visited her and she was speaking like a Hawaiian with pidgin English. His parents weren't happy about it.
"Why does she have to talk like that?"
"Let's get some steaks tonight!"
You couldn't really talk to Corky so Attila didn't bother.
Corky loved his Raiders and his beer.
Dumby's fingers were sewn back on
But the little one didn't take.
"Sorry but it's got to come off"
The other two made it but they weren't good for much. He could move them a little but they weren't really all that functional.
"Fuck it. It is what it is."
"I guess if we'd'a had better beer...fucking Modelo! Hah!"
"Dont ever trust Mexicans to save your fingers!"
"Shoulda had Heinekens!"
"Ve vill save your fingers for the third reich! Heil Finger"
"Let's go to John's Char-broil! I'm hungry!"
"Fuck and A!"
Tuesday, October 01, 2024
Dumby was laying in bed
He'd just come out of the operating room but there wasn't a room for him.
He was kind of a mess. His hand was all bandaged up.
There was a bunch of commotion and they wheeled a kid past him who was out cold and was sheet white.
There was more commotion and he heard the kid come to.
"You're lucky your friends brought you in. Sometimes they just leave them on the doorstep and we don't know they're out there."
"Please don't tell the cops. This happened before. Im gonna get really in trouble if you tell them."
"Sorry kid we have to."
At John's Char-Broil we ran into Salty
He had his usual yellow hoodie on
"Hey guys, what's up?"
"Dumby's at the hospital. He blew off three of his fingers."
"WHAT?! The FUCK. How'd he do that?!"
"He found a gun in his grandparents attic and decided to shoot it. It blew up and blew three of his fingers off!"
"FUCK! Jeez"
"Lucky no one else got hurt"
"The doctors gonna try to re-attach his fingers"
"Can they do that?"
"I guess they can try"
"Have you seen Attila?"
"Yeah he was here. Said they're going up to the dam"
"I gotta work in the morning"
"See ya later Salty"
"Okay yeah fuck n A"
The nurse gave him a shot
To kill the pain
He was crying and cursing
"I blew off my own FUCKING fingers!"
We'd put the fingers on ice with the Modelos
"The doctor will try to reattach them"
She had nice long brown hair
And was good looking
Dumby was moaning and weeping
We kept looking at the pretty nurse
She was hot
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