Juicy fruit painting and dog shit shoes

I am sleeping without sheets
in the middle of
a raining day. They
say that it's an el nino
event.
My stomach wanders from worried
to more worried. It doesn't seem worth it, to
worry so. I don't know why I do it and I can't seem to stop.
I hear the tap tap tap of the water dripping by my window and
a young neighbors muffled voice. She's saying something but I'm not
sure what it is. they must be outside smoking.
I let her borrow one of my paintings.
I came home very drunk, threw up in the back yard and got dog shit on
both shoes. I didn't notice until the next afternoon.
In between I let her borrow the Juicy fruit painting.
She told me later they don't package it like that any more.
She tried to buy Juicy fruit gum but it wasn't the same.
I bought new shoes, the same kind and put the dog shit ones in the
box and left them on the street. The next
day just the lid of the box was there.

Sunday morning
laying in bed
drank three bottles of wine
with the pork roast
last night
talked about creme colored tuxedos
and shoes that come with the rentals
smoked numerous cigarettes
with the window open onto Clement St.
a light breeze blew the smoke back
at us. talked about seeing Mike Doughty do a show
in Latrobe (where they make Rolling Rock)and
listened to his songs "from his heroin years".
Dan's sister is working for Family Guy now
she's a go getter but they plan for her to be a writer
They said Danny was all over Shannon
That's why I don't let him hang out any more
He doesn't understand the social landscape
The plan is to have a window duck party
and do a wine tasting to choose the wine for the wedding.

returning from swillville
he looked like a character from
a bad saturday morning cartoon
the bad guy
with silver tonic
grey hair
I know, I'm no fun anymore, my paintings don't talk
I just buy expensive old guitars
and wish my foot didn't feel like rubber
I sleep too much
exercise to infrequently
think too much
share too much and too little
I looked at the pictures and thought
what the fuck where is the joy ha ha
I'm not making this shit up
it's as real as a fucking deer tattoo on a hipster's ass.
stay now dear lady
let the light in
wait for the sound of the train
take the dog for a walk
drink a Pepsi
blow the futile horn
for all the lost souls

I'm not gonna worry
about it now
but I just did
that one little thing
it makes sense to worry
you can say I discriminate
but between Tecate and Hamm's
Fuck Yeah
your surf board is busted now
in pieces
you ran over it
on your way out of here
the radio was on when you
started the car
NPR even that didn't
stop you
you thought you thought
oh yeah you did a lot of thinking
but did you try living?
huh? even just a little?
it happened anyway didn't it?

signed
L. Cohen

Double americana
is cold now but
I'll drink it
it's not tecate
but what is
I'm fending off
the sunlight
brokering a deal
with the power of
The Sun
really at a loss
without my tecate suit
I'll wear it to special events
they'll find me under a table
hopefully with some long
legged brunette
mostly like in a puddle of tecate
trying poorly to quote
The Bard
and dreaming about the ability
to fly
Ah for that one moment
I'm fucked

the tecate papers
he read them from cover to cover
after he had a stroke
he learned about the state of the man who was bit by a dog
a policeman bit by a police dog
who wouldn't let go
so he shot it
oops
oops where was I
oh yeah
the Tecate papers
someone always steals the sports section.
I think it's my neighbor
that one armed bastard
his mother was the son of a whore
oops
he got lost in Palermo, Italy on
a business trip
they found him twenty years later
drinking sterno under a bridge in Yonkers
I just like saying Yonkers
THAT'S ALL THIS WAS ABOUT.
As if it was that easy
the article said

Time is rapidly causing me to drink tecates
even though my friends say they suck
friends Hah
good one
no that's too simple
what does it mean Tecate?
its probably a form of the verb Tecater
which means "to drink Tecate"
I heard that anyway
from a friend
hah
good one

there was a poem\
with a talking rabbit\
there was ice cream\
down a dirty hole\

there was a rapstar\
frozen in amber\
there was lady luck\
in Neenah, Wisconsin\

manhole covers and paper products\
beaver fur and hare hats\
Milwaukee's finest\
and a stubbed out cigar\

I'm going back to Mexico now\
that the killings have started\
maybe they'll kill some tourists\
or the Pope\

I haven't eaten\
in three days\
I'm starving on tecate\
and limes\

and cocaine\
isn't happy with me\
i've forsaken her\
for sleep\

breakfast consists of dreaming\
lunch is made of thoughts\
dinner was a disaster\
ah fudge\

Ovid was alright\
sent from Rome\
to some rocky isle\
to stay\
awhile\

the casualties pages\
were bound with\
neck tatoos\
the doorway to loserdom\

imprisoned voices\
locked and lonely\
sad and crying\
boo hoo\

is this fun\
definitely not\
but I have\
nothing better to do\

Communitecate

ah refreshing
cold liquid
TECATE!IN A CAN.
I'M NOT TALKING
I'm typing"
she said loudly
and showed more leg.

assiduously malconiferent
he chopped and chopped
beating a pathway to Carthage
his little brother looked like
Jim Carroll
before he died

down the boogey funk a teria
into the whispering background photo
I thought I saw a rabbit bound
from an abandoned trailer
I played a scratchy record
Lady Gaga
Disco Heaven
there were still two hands
until sundown
someone told me there were three types of columns
Doric Ionian and Corinthian
he lived in Bath, England until they
ran him out and he had
to go to the States.
He went to Texas of all places
I put on another record
this one had never been played
Cream Disraeli Gears

There wasn't a chance
but he decided to try
anyway
backed against the wall
who would blame him
Lots of people,
Lots and lots of people
pretty much everyone
ah fuck em
nothing can be more wrong than most people
abe lincoln said that
what did abe's mama say
up yours

Of a night with no stars
and waking hourly
for no reason except
dreams which are not conducive
to sleeping
I haven't answered the phone in
eight months. people stop calling.
The newspaper man came out for an interview.
I shot at him with the new Walther P99. I didn't try to hit him, I just wanted to scare the fuck out of him. It worked.
I felt like the bad guy in a worse movie.
so i had a drink.
that worked too.
so I had another.
then I went out and shot at cans.
La dee da la dee da
what we have here is failure to communicate
COMMUNICATE.

POW- Right in the kisser

Sexist pig takes one to the mouth.

my mind is slipping
I thought I knew myself
sometimes I wonder
what the hell

I tried a few things
some of this some of that
I've broken some rules
but I always came back

now it's getting harder
to do the same old thing
but somehow I always do
the same old thing

wrap it up in a bow
in a shiny bow
put your finger there
while i tie it

I'm slipping now
back to what I was
I'm not going back
I'm just slipping now

Hello,

this is Miguel. Ms. Magma's gardener. He left the computer on while he is in the john. I think something has happened to Catherine. He says she went away but nothing is gone not even her dog, Snapple. She would never

Catherine had to go away for a while-to an old friend who lives in the next state. She said she may be gone for several months. Nothing to worry about!
-Carskov Ventriloquo

don't mention it
It's nothing really
just a little thing I whipped up
no trouble at all really
shall I write it down for you:
Okay, take
1 lb unbleached flour
3 pieces of magazines talking about the death of Martin Luther King Jr.
a broken 1934 colt police special revolver
Mix these together while thinking about a girl who smiled at you
Add
1 lb of sugar
a touch of allspice
a wheel from an old baby carriage

Place in oven 260 degrees for four hours
rotate once an hour

let cool
serve with ice cream (vanilla!)

hristopher Knowles
Cristopher Knowles
Chistopher Knowles
Chrstopher Knowles
Chritopher Knowles
Chrisopher Knowles
Christpher Knowles
Christoher Knowles
Christoper Knowles
Christophr Knowles
Christophe Knowles
ChristopherKnowles
Christopher nowles
Christopher Kowles
Christopher Knwles
Christopher Knoles
Christopher Knowes
Christopher Knowls
Christopher Knowle

I pushed a ribbon down down deep into the well
I fought the Germans to the brink of Hell
I spoke with Moses and then he had a spell
I'm leaning towards the end and I'm not feeling well.

I was on the train this morning and I thought of Christopher Knowles and I missed my stop.