I don't know
I'm trying
but
I got too much sun
and drank too
much wine at Easter dinner
then I put on an old Joan Baez
album
Mom thought the people clapping
was dust on the needle

I'm dust on the needle

We went through the old man's stuff
books and jewelry
hats and Eagle scout banners
badges
boats bought by Blanca
old paintings
from Ruth
and endless whatnot
take this
take that

found my dad's solid gold pocket knife sitting outside
on the porch

they didn't even clean the rifle
but no one ever taught them