There was a girl we met
at the pueblo
she said her name was Tech Kate

there was no way we could have put two and two together
it wasn't even two and two
it was more like twelve billion and six (seriously)

if I knew what gingham was
I'd say her brain was made of it
but she was selling peyote buttons

and the General was curious

maybe it did lead to one of the first battles
or maybe that was a pre-legend
an exercise unbeknownst
to the players
(exercisors) (excorcists?)
somehow it mattered
The General however just puked his guts out and
hallucinated the fire engine peyote god
screaming on the hot Santa Fe night
He ended the night drinking cold cans of
generic beer
like in REPO MAN
BEER
 they certainly helped
and he fell asleep
most dreamily

Part Nothing

There was an episode of Gilligan's Island that
was never aired
Gilligan "invented" a biofuel using composted coconut shells and shrimp husks
as well as a variety of other leaves and grasses
the fuel worked amazingly well in the Minnow's diesel engine
and they made it back to civilization handily
The professor and the millionaire however conspired against Gilligan
they stole the biofuel formula and made millions
Gilligan became a real estate agent in Boca Raton
and once sold a house to
Carol Burnett's niece. True story.

This was definitely a contributing factor
to the beginning of the Tecate Wars
but no one
had the slightest clue
at the time