I dreamt a dream

We were invaded. Thousands of Chinese soldiers in many different uniforms were pouring in. Chinese restaurants opened their doors to sticky noodle dim sum type dishes. Noodle dishes were everywhere. I woke up kinda hungry.

 I'm breathing in the forest

Of triggered acorns

Pine needles and redwood branches 

Green clover is where I take a piss

Next to the thin highway

Leading to the river

Leading to the beach

The beach is covered in driftwood branches

And driftwood trees

Sand is everywhere 

We can camp in marked spots against a cliff

You can look up and see expensive 

Fancy houses above 

The campsites are right next to each other

So you can say hello to your new neighbors

And be bothered by them at 3:30 am

Clanking around aimlessly

In the middle of the night

A nice young man sweeping around the outhouse

Has knowledge of the area

"There used to be a mill here and a town

They'd load trees onto the railroad

The railroad was where the road you drive in on was

But that's all gone"

He continues sweeping

You build a fire with your friends

And laugh and argue about doctors 

Not getting paid enough

You play guitars and then you play 

Poker for almonds 

But you win too much 

And Wali gets pissed

 I'm not doing too good 

I'm tired

Post Shingles problems 

My left arm has gone weak

The phone droops as I try to hold it

I think I'm fucked 

But it's not really getting me down

I saw a very cute FNP today 

She ran me through a battery of tests 

I tried not to pay attention to her

But it wasn't easy 

I think I'd marry her

In a heartbeat 

She said I should probably

Get a CT scan or an MRI

I SAID OKAY I WILL

I lied 

 I flipped a river card

 STAY! Cried the river 

But it was no go

The trees were calling

"YO Hey you!"

I put my pants on and watched the park police 

do a drunk test on a guy who had been bothering

some people. They took him away.

His small car remained. It was filled inside with branches for firewood. 

We all got drunk and Wali made spaghetti.

 I dreamt the fire of burgundy

I drank the wine of _________.

I steamed the oysters of you know who.

To cease the madness

   The madness of crowds

       Erewhon intact

         We traced the lineage to a worm

   With breakfast

And tombstone flyers 

On 67th st in a 240z

Blue with three teenage boys

Followed by a CHP cruiser

   He spoke reasonably 

 A lake of breath

    Drifting under the algae bloom

Oregon is a rugged vision

 Arrowheads and Draft Breweries

   Marriott's # 12 is the good one

She said about Bend

  Nestled between a J Crew and a Starbucks

The air was crisp and clear

  As we tried to find parking

We had our map and a compass

 I'm trying to be good

Blah blah blip

   I'm flipping out!

Sometimes ya gotta go thru shit

Just to be somewhat okay

   Try not to pay too much attention

      Just let it slide on by!

    It's got nothing to do with you

You tell yourself 

  Coffee is good though

 I like coffee 

Hot coffee with a

Little half and half

 What does that mean? 

Half of what? And what?

Fuck it

   Don't worry about it

Let it go

   Okay! 

Woot

 Desire has no name 

Circular ties running a freight train

Round and round

    You bought the ticket

        The conductor doesn't smile

As he punches your ticket

    Flames rise up 

Screams are heard

   "Those are the trains brakes."

"But we're in the station. We're not moving."

 No reply 

  The train pulls out.

Into the night of the Sun. 

  "You have no tanning lotion."

Something about a basket.

   You take a seat and take a hit off a fifth of gin.

"Fuck it."

  

 I feel like I'm going crazy

I don't know what to do with myself. 

I drink a lot of very cold milk. It's good. I love it but you can't drink milk all the time. 

I had a glass of white wine at lunch. It was on the house because they didn't have a table that would accommodate my 95 year old mom in her wheel chair. So we sat there for fifteen minutes while they tried to figure it out. The maitre'd said drinks were on the house. My brother in law ordered fizzy water. Fuck that! I'm going for cost! A glass of Chardonnay there cost like $20. Fuck yeah. 

It was a Sunday Brunch but most of us got burgers. They were a little fancy but not bad. 

I said let mom order what she wants. Last time my sister ordered her a crab crepe and she didn't think much of it. This time she got French toast. 

We had a good lunch with cousins wife who was visiting.

 I groped a grommet 

  The expense of purses

Handbags hit hard

  You creep!

I'm alone! 

  What grommets 

It's a cartoon!

 Oh

  Are you making this up

Umm 

  Go fuck yourself

What?

 It's goddamn Sunday

Shouldn't you be hungover?

Or fallen asleep in some median? 

 Yeah 

   Screw you

Life's too long

To waste on people like me

Huh?

  You should live in Boise!

I did!

 (For two months)

 G FORCE

Pomegranate 

The eggshell helmet

On Van Ness Ave

at Burger King 

 Preparing to blast off

Next stop

   The Marina

Or Fisherman's Wharf

   You can get a coffee with whiskey and whipped cream

  They invented it near there

   What's it called ? 

 At the Buena Vista

  Not Yerba Buena that's

Mint

  The Spanish owned California 

   for years and didn't know the SF bay existed

   The entrance was so small and always hidden by fog

Not until they did an overland excursion did

They see it

WTF?!

  Fort Ross up north was the Russians fort 

Supposedly they still donate money to keep it up

  A state parks worker told me

He said we call these Putin's benches 

   In 1972 I flew in a tiny airplane to Redding 

from the Bay Area. It was hot. I fell asleep.

 I feel stressed

No cigs. Quitting smoking will probably do me in.

I feel

Like my

Blood pressure

Is

Through

The  

Roof

Complain complain complain

Lighten up asshole!

Nothings ever good enough for you!

What's your PROBLEM?!

(Time for iPad Gin Rummy)

Where's those nicotine lozenges?!

Calm down 

Breathe

Forget about it.

Jeez

 I crafted 

A forensic howdoyado?

  from tubular bells

     Bass Guitar!

      the fog surrounded my brain 

and body 

  like the tri-valley

     fog of 1973 College Avenue

        laughing Official Pot Smoker Cards

From Letraset 

  rub on print

Yer dad saw the card

  said wtf is this?

you said it was stolen by a guy who had dropped 

It in the Fifth street school that was broken into

   Shit gets worse and worse

But not really

   We egged a car one night

The street was so ridiculously wide

   There must have been train tracks at one point

 We could hear the people finding the car

"OH MY GOD LOOK AT THE CAR!"

  The cops came and shined a flashlight in our front windows. We ducked down. Next morning my sister found an egg on the front lawn and the eggs were out on the kitchen counter. 

"I don't know."

That was that. 

La Dee Da 

Stupid kids.

 I took my pills

Did two walks

Took a large bag of clothes to the Goodwill 

Had a nap

Ate $5 Ceviche

and a leftover slice of pizza

Read about Trump assassination attempt

He got hit on upper ear (made nice media event-

bloodied Trump holds up fist surrounded be Secret Service staff and a large US Flag. People chanted U S A!

Supposedly a suspicious man on a roof. They say he killed a bystander. ? Secret Service killed him. News at 11. 

Sucking on a cherry flavored nicotine lozenge now trying to keep the fucking torment of need away. Blah! 

Maybe they could just put me in a coma for a few days?

I'd probably never wake up. 

 I'm a treasure trove 

of Tiredness- I ache with tired

I spit tiredness

  I sleep only somewhat tired

I wake up 3 or 4 times a night

Maybe I have sleep apnea

  And should wear an aliens face mask thing

That makes me breathe correctly

I hauled a giant bag of old clothes

To the Goodwill but the door that said Donations

Was locked and no one answered when I knocked

Fuck it I'm not taking the bag back

What kind of Goodwill is this you can't even fucking take

Donations?

I left the bag on the sidewalk outside the door

Bums are probably rifling through the clothes

"Hey this looks brand new!"

"I don't think this has ever been worn."

"Look at this wool sweater. Fucking J Crew!"

"Give me that!"

"Fuck you get away!"

Bums are having a knife fight over my Banana Republic slacks. 

"You motherfucker! I saw those first!"

 If you can just go for a week

Without breathing

You'll be good

Take these pills

Try not to behave like you usually do

Try not to think

Or feel

Or be 

Anything

Try to be

Like a turtle 

With a shell

Don't lay on your back

I'd prescribe something but I'm not

comfortable doing that and that's 

What's important- that a dr isn't 

Uncomfortable!

 Pirandeed in a convo

of static SEA WEATHER

Clasped in stiff cotton

   with black zippers

     and headstrong rope torturers

   Playing the hand

No one was ever dealt

   a musket of Death 

A barrel of vermin

 A sesame bagel

With butter

Where are my fucking cigarettes?!

Sorry sir YOU QUIT

Not sorry

  Quitter!

Loser!

   3 time CON

Breaking your foot on a shopping cart

   While the world screams at you

To MOVE YOUR CAR

but no just 

Fucking around 

In a Fogbank

SF Summer is here!

WELCOME to the micro climate!

Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl?

Why they sell so many sweatshirts at

Fisherman's Wharf. 

My Granddad went to SF 

And all I got...

 I feel weird

It's 4 in the morning. And I'm Batman in a batcave.

Oh wait no. I'm trapped in a Marvel comic from 1976.

I've got no hope. 

My brain is so messed up it doesn't know why it is.

I can't seem to quit.

I burned my hair! trying to light a tiny cigarette butt from my ashtray. Oops 

Ka - Flooey!

Let it go. One thing at a time. Hair today gone tomorrow! Nobody's perfect. 

More cherry flavored lozenges from Walgreens. 

Keep moving. Forward or backwards. Both are gonna happen. One foot this way and or thattaway. 

I should be asleep!

 When you're sober

and you're not smoking 

and you go to sleep

the night goes by like a flash

There's no awful dreams 

Or waking to mad anxiety 

Mad anxiety so you have to play gin rummy on the computer to put the thoughts of it away

None of that shit

Of course the bad dreams might still be there

I don't know 

I don't remember any of it

But the feelings are gone the awful morbid reaction

just doesn't happen

I wonder what I dreamt about

Probably some crazy shit 

As usual 

 I think I'm a little stressed

Get in line, right?

Umm you have it so hard, pos.

You'd be stressed if you won the lottery!

Get over yourself. 

Drink some milk

Go for a walk 

Lighten up!