I've got no flutaphones 

No plastic recorders

At Oyster River School

I dealt heroin in second grade

Come see me at the Jungle Jim

There was a sunken baseball field

Near the forest 

I was playing catcher 

When a kid got hit in the head by a baseball bat

Like any good catcher I took charge

Tried to walk him to the school

But that nurse, an ugly fat whore of a bitch, came running up and yelled at me

"You're not SUPPOSED TO MOVE HIM"

I'm in second grade you cunt!

There's still blood on my glove 

That we used as a home plate

And I'm 63 years old