Chief Diatribe's son

Was named Goodyear but it was a bad year, the year he was born. It snowed in July. The Medicine Man was called Mayo Clinic. No one in the tribe was sure exactly why. 

Mayo tried to put a good spin on the Chief's first born. 

"At least he's not Jewish."

Although he was not unaware the mother's surname was Silverman he assumed it was a mineralogically based spiritual name. 

"Pure as .925 Mexican silver!"

Goodyear soon showed his true colors cracking wise and investing in Remington futures.

"Dad, I traded 3 lakes and 83 "acres" for a fifth of a point on Remington futures. So far we've earned $8,011.73! "

"Son, the beaver blocks the stream to create the lake where he builds his home."

"Yeah but how much money does that beaver make? All that chewing and gnawing? He may as well work at Wendy's!"

His father was unaware of such a fast food establishment.

"Have it your way, son. Special orders don't upset us."