stupid 

        ears of green

   sordid imbrocations 

of non existent and the like

it's a way to find your soul

  

     say what you won't 

because

  that's just the way you are

No aunts uncles cousins sisters dads 

   gonna change that

so fuck it 

   get on with it 

 

   as if you wouldn't 

   anyhoo

 I don't have anything to say

but whatever

God is watching over me

I am blessed by fortune

Unless I just jinxed it

I keep listening to the same singer/songwriter 

kinda dirge sad lonely stuff

makes me feel good 

I'm not the only miserable person in the world

EVERYBODY'S LOVING LIFE BUT YOU!

yeah fuck em I've got a fucking Hyundai named Huichol

That's the dealership- Huichol Hyundai

I drive a Shaman 

Thru rainforests with multi colored panthers

Everywhere is vibrant dyed yarn reality

Panthers Jaguars Weird Mexican Deer with horns

Iguanas Spiders Tarantulas etc

Women making tortillas and laughing 

 I took pills

8 or 9 or ten different shapes

sizes colors every fucking day

gotta keep my numbers in order

But I feel like a goddamn sloth on Qualudes

is that why I drink so much coffee

Not feeling right today

But the sun is out somethings not as it should be

grey grey grey is what I'm used to don't 

confuse me with sunshine and birds and doorbells

and cars and Nariah Carey

Narnia Carey

Go read a pamphlet on STD's 

And Drugs 

 Stoic 

betrothal

me and my pain

me and my Hyundai 

Parting the seas

Driving the tears

Thru mudbath carwash 

and sunken eyed Napoleon dreams

In Georgia orphanage 

walked to Pensacola

after a 49 year old man was conscripted and died

in a train crash

Now their home is a Naval runway next to the Gulf

Pleasant Grove Baptist Church 

 All bad news

Why can't I stop looking?

Just the way it is

I try to sleep it away

but bad dreams 

So what are ya gonna do?

Every day more bullshit

Most of it is just in my head

Blah blah blah 

Sorry

 I'm 66

Going on 666

The Devil has his own itinerary

I think he keeps it in a day planner

Black and Red

Days of the week

Thursday: Stir the pot

of sturmindrang (?)

  - must be some kind of soup? 

Who knew he was so organized?!

 Bleak Grey

To my soul

The bitter oceans 

In black

Yup that's it black oceans!

 Tried a thousand 

ways not to be me

I thought it would be easy

     but I couldn't shake me-

         like a shadow 

I'm always there 

here

   wherever

even in some fancy big city

a thousand miles away

Yup reflection

that guy

drinking helps

A LOT at times too much

so 

so what 

   Now I just hide 

from the demons

But they're out there 

I know they are

 

 I 

tried

to 

Right

The wrongs

Of

tomorrow 

but

      it's 

not working out

so I'll kick

it 

in my 

head

Kick in the bed

Kick in the motherfucking HEAD

and Excedrin Extra Strength

w Lacative Joe 

What?

Oh

never 

 mind

     sometimes it's like no one gives a shit

   but why should they

        Do football players know about CTE

UH DUH

    and they choose to continue playing?

(It won't happen to me ) ?

Any hoo what about boxers 

Money

Fame

Women 

More money

Who needs a brain anyhow 

Are you so much smarter?

Than me???

Lol

Nowhere 

time 

crosses

the river

river Jordan

Place your 

bets 

Ladies 

and Gentlemen 

To your right

Is Elvis Presley's

maids 

house

Rumors 

are she was 

African American 

Say what 

you will

I 

 don't

        KNOW

nuthin

say a prayer

             say a mutherfuckin 

prayuh 

    lambo

  Mccowhorn 

  

 Out 

In 

The 

           Wastelands

   the hinter

   visor 

Fuggetmenots 

time

ain't 

      no 

        Thing

It's a walk

in the park

geologically 

born

    The Witches

 are 

  out

in

Death 

      Valle 

muerto 

VALLE

comme si

   comme ca 

 caballero

   don't leave

    the car old 

  frenchmen 

I'm spouting

nothingness

     to the wind

because

I'm bored 

drunk 

In bed

Sick

  old

    white haired

  Guy 

 with

 bad 

dreams

the shelves collapsed!!

he got 

CRUSHED

  clear the way

It's 

another 

 dream

 

for 

no 

one

No Bolinas 

fog

boats 

dogs

  Kids 

at 

Fishing  

Camp

Catch 

And 

Release 

Understand?

 Summer

you can't really tell here

I'm not sure what you'd call what we have

Once summer is dead we have a chance at some hot weather 

  The coldest winter...

was a summer with your mother...

  - Mark Twain's dad

The cold fog pours off the ocean 

sucked in thru the Golden Gate

the bridge is orange

Orange you glad I didn't say banana

Knock knock

Who's there? 

Fall 

You can tell by the smell -

September in California can be brutal on school kids

COLD in the morning

HOT in the afternoon

Chaparral!!

High chaparral 

Low chaparral 

What's the difference? 

Dunno

Keep them doggies rollin

RAWHIDE!

 

 Tears

    for years

you break the ice

                 and

                        fall

      

                            the water

   is 

freaking 

  

            brain 

  cold

 you're gonna die pilgrim

          better say yer prayuhs 

  

    to Jeebus Krisen 

  

        on circle hill

Or Cycle Hell 

     

       You got nothing

   no one!

 Well some 

     who'll miss ya

Cuz you were a weirdo

     and you made em laugh

 Words

      And tempers

Bitter 

Onions

Tears 

Onion tears crying

for dead mama

Onion tears crying

in aged birthday

No cryin here

 

         Sorry

Catch a bus 

to the midwest 

Leave her ashes 

     at the Landhaus

       Stock up

on Landejaeger 

It's all fat 

YOU CAN SEE IT!

 white fatty greasy spots

    

Tear up 

Nope 

Nope

 

      Nope tears for dead

Mom

 McMurtry 

Hemingway

Fitzgerald

     Some writers

What's that guys name 

DH Lawrence 

    Sons and Lovers

    Zola, Emile

Appolinaire? Don't know shit 

about poets 

- L. Ron Howard

Texas fantasy writer

Or is it  Hubbard

Praise Xenu!

 

 Is the world going to hell?

Maybe it's just me. Everything fucking irritates me. I don't know why. My seratonin has gone down the dumpster? Who knows? I think I need my brain sedated. Maybe electro shock therapy ? I need to be McMurpy'ed like cuckoos nest. But he became a veg. So maybe not that extreme. Everything bugs me. Oh well. Poor me. Get over it dipstick 

 Cold cold brew in a can leftover from yesterday

some bird outside is making noise

I got farm peaches ripe and super sweet and juicy.

Try buying those in the city. Not gonna happen. 

Last night I tried to sleep in the living room but there was some weird smell and I started thinking it was a dead animal. So I got freaked out and went back to the bedroom. The lights don't work in the bedroom. Why? Rats ate the wires? Who the fuck knows? You can't hire a goddamn electrician to come out and fix it or have the fucking CARETAKER call an electrician? He's been in a trailer behind the house for forty years and does he take care of anything? He takes care of the washer/dryer. 

Ah well it's a sweet little place too bad it's such a reminder of a failed marriage. Blah. Maybe the John Wayne print will perk it up. Maybe not Pilgrim.