on the offshore mesmerized 

derelict oil rig of your dreams

three spaces were given 

1. Be trustworthy 

2. Accept no substitutes

3. Blow me down Captain!

Lauded by critics

and incredibly successful at the box office 

this derelict oil rig

gave new meaning to the term "job producers"

as a divided nation watched,

on a sunday evening,

the course of history was irremedially 

unchanged and gladly at that

"No "facts" can sway us from this course."

"We were destined, manifestly, to enjoy, at any available time,

the rewards of our dreams- that the offshore mesmerized 

derelict oil rig of our dreams- should, can, and will be

blah blah blah 

you get it"

"what she said"

Marine One landed at Crissy Field in San Francisco on 

a blazingly warm February day

With the Golden Gate Bridge looming over them and 

the brilliant wonders of sunshine sparkling on the cold waters of the bay 

the staff were taken aback at their 

own good fortune 

and the stock market was up too

Across town Rafael DeSoto, a nurse at SF General Hospital, and his family

were being evicted from the apartment they had lived in for sixteen years.

The building had been Ellis act-ed and the new owners would be selling the units individually 

one prospective owner was Lance Gladhand 

a twenty three year old software engineer 

who had graduated from Brown University 

and whose parents purchased for him an Audi A4

Pretty badass too 

Across town the derelict rig of etc etc etc 

was breaking into a pharmacy to steal Oxycontins

three stipulations ensued and only three-

1. beware the two eyed sloth dressed in gabardine

2. Scientology is NOT a cult

3. Who has a copy of the Bourne Supremacy I can borrow?

three and ONLY three

as the dove flys below the parapet 

these will be so