In the back room on Linda Street

You had, or Cara had, that apartment on Oak street

Where we stayed after three months in Europe

We went to Freiburg, Koln, Hamburg

We saw rehearsals of the Knee plays

Cuz you knew Robert Wilson

We went to Vienna and saw Brueghel's seasons

And the Master 

Hieronymus Bosch

In Germany we went to a party 

Where we were horribly misplaced 

The naive Americans in LL Bean raincoats

Amongst a giant large naked German lady

And her friends

We went to Florence

And the Uffizi

Saw Leonardo's "cartoon"

A six foot drawing of Jesus and John

As babies with Mary and the other one

What was her name? Oh well

The unions shut down the Museum

And the train and 

We took a bus to Nice

And walked through the casino

Thinking James Bond 

Said Bonko here

Before or after we were in Bath

And went to the bathes where naked fat women

Were enjoying the mineral waters

 Don't forget your face

It's a non story,

A non-starter

Your face is everywhere

Everywhere I look

I see you

But you don't want a slice of pizza with my name on it

What does that even mean?

Nothing oh please talk to 

The waiter 

He has an ouzo 

But let's have a few more

Then we'll walk through the rain

Amid the dark sidewalks

Of Montmartre

And collapse in bed 

With worn out springs

And wonder about a night in Verona

When we woke up and looked out

The window

 In sixth grade in Livermore, CA we played hardball at school

It was at Almond Avenue School

I played left field-

I'd come from New Hampshire

And was a huge Carl Yastrzemski fan-

Rick Seaton

(The tallest guy in sixth grade- biologically advanced!)

Hit a single to left field

Routine single but

I saw he was going for second

(Oh I got him! I thought)

I fielded it cleanly 

And threw to second 

With all I had!

But it flew over 

The second baseman

And hit Rick Seaton 

running to second

In the head 

And knocked him out

 Of course they'll shave your head

Or you'll get the NAIR 

I was a long haired blonde fourth grader

Fuck em I said

My

Mom makes me

Fried egg sandwiches 

For lunch

EVERY DAY

 A Beast with a hundred watches

Approached my dad

There was an old plane rusting 

And abandoned on the beach

It was hot and dry in Ensenada

We'd been to Disneyland

But it was nothing like this

 The flyby routes

Were not so nice

The heater blasted all night

And finally someone 

Opened a window 

To the freezing night

By morning we landed

But none of us knew 

Where we were

Is this Uzbekistan?

Slovenia?

Turkey?

Passports were checked 

And bad coffee was served

With bread and cheese

We ate hungrily

And then we took off again.

 After my nap

I took a walk up to Haight st

And got a chili cheese dog 

And a glass of water

It was one of those naps that 

Are ill advised

The ones where you get so tired 

You don't want to wake up

And you still feel tired- 

Walking home after the dog

I stopped and got a small bottle of tequila

And here I am

 I shouldn't be wasted

In such a lovely November evening

Outside couples in Christmas hats 

Walk their dogs and laugh as it chases a pigeon

Their children torture small animals

And they laugh

Oh they're just kids

 

They'll grow up to be executives

Who torture their employees

With thumbscrews and bloody Mariah's 

They'll drive taxis 

And call their homes 

The Homeland

Sounds vaguely Nazi-istic 

To me

 It's dumb

You're dumb!

Not as dumb as you think I am!

Dumber than you look!

Okay well maybe you have a point there 

 Im not an ebullient flower

Not a rose

In Sebastopol 

Not a petunia

In Arnhem

More like a weed 

Growing on the side of a highway

Near Coalinga

 There was a noise made by the lord

It was harsh and grating

What the fuck is that??

   People stopped watching football

    Shoppers put down 12 packs of tp in Costco

 But I had recorded it and released an album

God Talks!

   And I was elected President of the planet! 

 I was once a yeti

Now I'm Tintin in Tibet!

 I had numerous attempts 

On the forefront

    With Marlene Dietrich 

It was just 

Well I was 

No Gary Cooper

No matter how often

   I joined the French Foreign Legion

 I was once a storyboarded 

The fallow lay like birch 

Entreaties 

  Down 

     Down

         Down

By the 

    Toilet 

    Traipses

    I and I were guilty

       Of trying too hard

         To be Baudelaire

               Or dying in Africa

Like Rimbaud

     For gold or Francs

Or syphillis

  With a horse named Jean

 Bitch that's it

Fucking suck it!

Oh wait

Never mind!

And now back to our regular program!

"Jean, I love you!"

"Oh George stop lying!"

"Wait, what?!"

 Who will win the Super Bowl?  Okay bet's on!

THE JUDGEMENT

KEEPING STILL. Keeping his back still
So that he no longer feels his body.
He goes into his courtyard
And does not see his people.
No blame.

 I moved

    Like a jerk 

I threw the I Ching

   On the question

What's the point?

  

Thunder and Lightning from the dark heart of the storm:
The Superior Person judges fairly, so that consequences are just.

The leader reaches his peak and doesn't lament the descent before him.
Be like the noonday sun at its zenith.
This is success

Hmm

 It's late November 

And I'm laying in bed 

in my shorts

With the window open

The fan's blowing 

Cuz I like the air and the sound

Eating some kind of weird popped chips

And drinking a fiery whiskey

With a devil on the label 

Things could be worse

 You can't compete

But why would you?

What's there to win?

Hands down it's not rigged

But still why?

Diet Schlitz though

It's hard to compete

 3 pm cold shower

The blood was not flowing 

So he turned an iceberg into a shower

And the sun came out and birds started to sing

In his head

 There was a hole in the sky

Petunias were flying through space

It was a lovely day

 He dreamt he was looking up the results

But he couldn't find them

Over and over he looked

Like his life depended on it

 The captains eye was on the shore

He pilloried and exhaled

The currents were bad 

And the wind was pushing them toward

The rocks

He laughed loudly 

And said he'd like scrambled eggs

If it's not a bother

 She bottled her love

In a large champagne bottle

But the label had long come off

No one knew what it was

Should we try it?

 The cream of the how's it goings?

A breakfast on a plank of orange tree wood

Until

The 

Champagne 

Ran dry

We stood and

Tried our feet

They were still working

So we left

 There's not really much to do

Unless you're wearing shorts

 Laying in bed on a not bad November night

Drinking cinnamon whiskey

   And pretending you're the King of Tomorrow 

I SHALL RULE THE WORLD!

You think 

  As you fall asleep 

 I flew into a raft

Traded it for birch canoe

And flew out TWA

It was a double decker 

With spiral stairs leading up to 

A piano bar 

I was ten years old

 I bought a Bukowski book brand new

I'm pretty sure I have it at home. An old one of the same. 

But I don't care. It's brand new. I could buy like six and not give a shit. 

 He flew in to the big city

It was filled with tarantulas 

And sno-cones

I think I'll get cherry

Life wasn't so bad after all

 The Smooch took a pie to the eye

It was a heartbreaking affair

     But being an 

Encyclopedia salesman ...

Well, no one said it would be easy

 There a

Ground

Harp

     Seeene 

True to the word

Break your

Brainiski. Smmmooomoo

 Everyone's dead

But I'm alive

So I'll eat pork chops 

And say fuck all y'all

But not really

I love you guys!

 I'm not backwards

You are! I've hit a notion

In Paris

The pont neuf 

Cest la vie 

But these shoes 

Are killing me

I stole money from a newspaper stand

And drank 

Until I was blind

 Maduras on fire

    What are you talkin'?

I'm not a British explorer

  Those days are gone

I'm just happy to have four kinds 

Of Cap'n Crunch 

   And like the holy wars we cash our checks

   On butt plugs

   And messiah worship dreams

Not to be profane

But I'm just a human 

Trying to get by

Little kids are good

They don't want to kill anyone

   They don't wear ribbons 

And crowns like the "king of England"

Give me a break

A true king would renounce all that pomp

 I got no light

New Baby cries

In Milwaukee

   A forest of bourbon bottles 

Are smitten in waves

  But it's all I got

  As I lounge in bed dreaming of another enchilada 

        With steps up to the 

Street named Matamoros

    I'm a gringo

So what?

     I'll have a Jamaica 

(Hibiscus drink)

    The girls on the sidewalk 

Make tacos for 75 cents

    Sisters 

And the shop that sells tortas 

  With the old man 

Has no sign

   Because it costs money to 

Have a sign

    

 Down by the water stream of the Sawtooth Mountains

Clear water running so clear

Trees so green 

     You'd think you were high

    I didn't see anyone for four days

  I took the advice of the handwritten road sign

Do Not Take This Road- You Will Die!!

  And so went another fire road 

The dog wouldn't eat the fish I caught

I made kind of a mess cooking it

   I couldn't turn the stove low enough

  And she was up all night 

Barking and running after something

 

 The words broke like flowers on a dead horse

Not a Bukowski

Poem

 I don't compare

Cuz why

Who needs it?

   It doesn't do any good

And what does it matter?

   See I'm just 

Nope none of that!

  So I watched Steve McQueen in

Le Mans

 Heat pleased the non confused entrails

    It was a bloody (?)

(Am I British now?)

   Black Friday

       After burping all night 

From turkey gravy leftovers

   And driving mom home to where

She had no idea 

   But was pleased we were there

I told her I'd arranged for the building to be moved closer

    But she knew I was joking

Still it was a beautiful day

    When I left she thanked me so much

I almost cried

   She's getting old!

No she is old

Fuck I'm old and she's my mom

    

 I don't know what that means

I'm just an echo

        Of myself

    My previous self was energetic and confused

Now I'm not so confused

     But I have a lot less energy

            So I run the mill

     Of canned goods

And bakers dozens

    Of memories

Like old tattered sneakers in

     A black and white photo of a kid with black glasses

Squinting in the hot California sun at

 Angel's Camp

And guys with duck tails

     And choppers

Are everywhere

       At the Calaveras Frog Jumping Contest

In 1970

 I broke twenty seven sins 

Thou Shalt not sit upon one's sisters head

Thou Shalt not read John Updike in the bathroom 

Thou Shalt not dance to disco

Thou Shalt not shalt not

Thou Shalt have plenty and fucking love it

Thou Shalt play Monopoly and defeat thine enemies 

Etc etc 

Thou shalt et cetera

Like an Italian new wave movie

With Gina Lollabrigida!

 Jesus came in the room

And we were all like wtf

"I didn't think you really existed!"

"If I didn't I would have been invented for there was a great need."

"I mean, like pizza?"

And Jesus made anchovies

And we were like yuck

"We fucking hate anchovies! What's next? Pineapple?!"

"Let he who is without sin pay the delivery guy"

 There was a bright light in the sky

You said oh it's a satellite

But it was God

And he punished us 

For not believing

But we cried

"Did you believe in US?!"

The next day we had French toast

With bacon

And hot coffee

 The carved the embraced

Were the untold stories

You played cards on a frozen Chevy night 

We laughed about your down jacket

Until you cried

We were sorry we said

But we weren't 

 A green green 

Was greed in the heart

You read the tarot cards

The ace of hearts

Was mislaid 

Where the fuck is that?!

Oh we'll talk tomorrow 

 A moments notice

Was all you gave

But it seemed like years

The handkerchiefs the plates the knives

All locked up 

The door was hanging on the hinges

Your hair was beautiful

But I was an idiot 

But I'm not now

 The moons back side

  Was postulated with 

The run down

    You wore new clothes 

And I was startled

Why? We're just...

But it didn't matter

 Space was cold and full of death

We stopped for burgers

  They weren't bad

 Enlarged but not enclosed

Straddling the rhymes that you used on me

 To ensure safety and diaspora control

 You ran the far East like it was your backyard

  You spent Sundays mowing and weeding

  While I made Chili con carne

 My gut enzymes told one story

You told another

There was a path 

   Not the one least traveled

A path strewn with fast food containers

    With names you'd given them

Robert, Jenny, Esmeralda 

  But it didn't matter 

We both drove to see the eclipse

  It was fantastic 

 I was the javelin

In Rome

I flew gracefully

Long and clear

I was the javelin!

Now I'm pretty much nothing

 It's so quiet 

Like a burnt old BBC

Engrossed in a vermin page photograph 

The meanderings of bullshit

Which is Life

I forage in a duplicitous cybernetic 

Stupidity 

I am!

But no

I'm not

 I knew the fruits of endeavor intangible 

I caressed a lonely sleep

It was I, I, I,

Who cares?

And why should they?

Let's be real for a minute

You are what you do

And I shop!

Books clothes shoes socks!

And dinner

 It might be good to go somewhere

Somewhere different

But it's always me 

Wherever I go 

Blah blah blah

But the food might be good

Yum!

 My mental health is 

Fucked

I think that best describes it

Nothing to do

I have no energy

I walk 3 miles every day

I bought some new shoes 

When they arrived they were the wrong size

I wore them anyway

 

 The joy was Malthusian

But I'm getting ahead of myself

If that's possible

Some predilections were renowned 

For their escapist allusions

I don't mean a Steve McQueen movie either 

I'm thinking Voltaire's Candide

And the earthquake in Spain

But there I go again 

Now, the reality of the situation is such

That the neither here nor there 

Were ambiguous 

They were most concrete 

But the cracks

Oh, the cracks

Please consult Zinkovich

RE cracks and stress

 Jumping on the band wagon 

Is not like being on the wagon

Two completely different idioms

What is an idiom?

 

 Crack a doodle do

Neck pop!

 Fried in the brain

Life sucks and we're all headed to the shitter

Not to be negative but darn wtaf

 There weren't no moonshine

Sun giving

Stereo tacos

Slipped past the frosty frozen lake canoe

Believe the threes 

And plaited sneeze

Beware the hub hub jird and

Shein!

Creatures are the oxy contin

Trees be snottin 

And hyper alert

In the morning

Play with kids 

Like kiddos fun

Ain't no reason

Like the hub

Drown in lakes

Of old days tomorrow

Send the plastic yesterdays

To Paul's records called wings

 Entitled dram-o-phone

Making brunette phone calls

Seem

Like a three masted ship lost at sea

All hands were lost

But they found their way 

To DaFoes Bar and Grill

And ordered rum-coco's

And barbecued goat legs

Sadly after their meal 

The smoke was spotted by a tribe

Of Cannibals 

Who gave them all parking tickets

Because they hadn't fed the meters

Long pig was not on the menu

Because it was a holy day

Phew!

 I was a nothing in a pile 

I did everything I could to come clean

Except 

 I know these words don't add up

But it's all I got

Maybe if I had a heart

Or a Mr Lubener

 A photo of Baudelaire 

   Is (don't mention)

Syphillitic

 It was a defiant 

Plebe that woke me to the fact 

That all was lost in a century

Of Iraq

 The marshes were drained 

Some British doctor once traveled

In Dune 

In Iraqus 

With Timothy Chalamet

Not David Lynch

Sad!

 The steady nothing

Was all she wrote

   There weren't words to convey

All the mirrors 

      Hopes

The despondent poet 

Is a sad fuck

 Thinking about pork chops 

 W apples and garlic

As he wishes he had more 

Fireball

 There was a Milwaukee Magua

Maguas mind is poisoned with hate

That's what Natty Bumpo said

But some people are nice 

And have nothing to do with this 

They're shopping in vintage stores 

"Hey look at that!"

 Drinking is a relief

It frees one up

To be them

They the

The rest can go

Rest in a restroom 

In a rest area 

All the rest 

Can wrestle

And wrest 

The truth 

From the sunlight

And parade their happy ways

Like dead soldiers 

Or dead nuns

 Don't short the whales

Paterson is not a town

In New Jersey

 Three weeks at sea

My eyes were bleary 

I knew nothing of currents

Or was I in irons

 Don't just don't

I'm sorry 

I got carried away

The thought of it was too much

Gin and tonics

Fueled the riposte

Antigone 

Where are you?

Send in the deux ex machina

PLEASE!

 I took a thousand pleads

I cried a thousand times

I smelled cap pistols going off

I was your average child

 Tom bilious blue eyes 

Ferruled a work day Antigone 

The drama of pasta?

The dream of a passageway 

And little kids laughing and crying

In a Jersey City Indian restaurant 

Tandoori chicken

Sag Paneer

Rice

And that

Green sauce

 I dreamt of a different world

A world where

Things were as they had been

But this could never be

For things never were

As I remembered them

Except in my memory

 There was a fried egg sandwich reality

I cried because I didn't want to go to a new school

In a new town 

My mom said I was her least enthusiastic student

"If he had his choice he'd stay home every day"

It said in a letter to her parents

Its weird because I still feel that way

But the teachers gave me rave reviews

Maybe they wanted to be home too

 

 There weren't no Episcopalians in the house

So we didn't even think about it

Nor of anything even close to that

We thought about

Blah blah blah

You know

The beautiful hoo ha 

Blah blah blah

 Sam No was an embryo

He yelled and belled

I am

I am 

I AM!

  Sam No

Was 

  Awakened

To the fact 

That 

All pepperonis

Aren't on pizza

Wait what?

 Read the book

Of forgetfulness 

See the past golf courses

Of your brain

 

 I'm sick of all my shit

It's a waste of time 

But what isn't?

It's all about perception

And clothes

Ya gotta wear good clothes

Cuz ya know

Fuck em!

 I stole a mountain of gold

From the Burrowed eyes

Of Xchlotinalye

In the town of Ayahuasca

I met Adrian Pipian

King of pumpkin seed mole

The green mole king

Bastion of Mina 

Y Matamoros

Cobblestoned hill street

Near

El Faro

Casa Faro

No tira basura antes de Ocho

Gaby's served Jamaica

Hibiscus drink

And we thought we were getting 

Ripped off

Stupid Americanos!

 Blessed is the Holy War

Let us convey 

God's will

Mmmm

Purple!

The jelly donut

Of life's little secrets

Let us betray

God's will

For human hubris

And greed 

For Glory

And next to nothing

Bullshit

 I'm a loser

(Not really)

Just looking for some booze

I can't really explain myself

And feel good about myself

But really

It's all good 

Ate some Korean fried rice 

I gave the sausage bits 

To the dog

I love that little guy

 There weren't too many options

In the long run 

What chances were blown

On a three dollar ticket

For the trifecta?

Apples to oranges

Gin to beer

I ordered a taco and then two more

 The bejesus machfornia 

Slime your brain

McFornia! 

Dream a cat Stevens song

   About the lonely places 

 A greedy abnegation 

Was for psoriases sake

A case of Purdy darn good 

Corn bread 

W fruit salad 

And bacon

Plenty of bacon

It was another Sunday Morning 

On Tesla Road

7 miles east

Near Corral Hollow

Road

 I had fifty million yesirees 

In a brown bag

With your face on it

But lord almighty 

There was truth in what you did 

Not my truth

But yours 

 I know everything about not really much

My sense of foreshortening is uncanny

Respective of illusory rationalizations 

I am without doubt unperturbed 

Is this a litigious expenditure unkempt?

Boldly my friend boldly!

 The belief in oneself 

Is not without problems

The Buddhist monk laughed

He was thinking about purchasing a used car

"Does God believe in me?!"

When asked if I believed in God

We ate momos in the back room

 I read the stasis monarchy

Atop a borough mendacity 

Likewise pronouns of misshaped fungi 

In a book by Merlin

 I was/am debriefed

Incessantly

To the point of 

A mutant black hole horizon

Where dying takes 

Almost forever

As you are torn apart

Bit by bit by bit

 Mucho Cabrillo

What is that

Yo no se 

     See the cold weather and the wind with the face of a

Ceramic toy that came with soap 

We drank very sweet Rose wine

    And ate salted nuts

The fat little dogs were very happy to have company

The friends chatted

When she asked what I was doing here

I made something up

   I'm seeking a pardon from the Governor 

For the seventeen people I accidentally killed

As a one time puffer fish cook

She looked aghast

Haha!

 Sleep is not above board

Yer dreams make 

You wake up tired 

And somewhat sullen

Then you need coffee

 The mirrored contortionist 

Plagued by pulley memories

On a funicular

Sidestepped the Times headlines

And fell

Into 

A revery

Of 

Bearded ladies

Klondike movies

And the great distortionist's salutary 

Embrace on a humid day

In

Midtown

 It's a cry in the woods

    What's that 

Wait I'm 

Below average

And tired of SF

      my car is in Montclair

Maybe I should drive out again

    But winter?

Kookity koo!

 Linguine frutti de mar

With asparagus 

And meatballs

   Kinda pricey

 But delicious 

   While I waited a couple

With Eastern European accents

Invited me to have a glass of their wine

   They were nice and happy to have company

"We've been sick of each other for the last fifteen years"

 Momos made me sleepy

     In Kingston NY