There's nothing to do 

I'm so boring I can't even read a book

Time falls asleep

When it sees me

Rain falls on me even when the sun is brilliantly bright out

Bus drivers fall asleep upon my arrival causing the death of an old woman and an extremely corpulent man.

I scurry away. 

Gravity fails when I walk. A giant steer floated away into the air followed by a chair a bucket and a hirsute farmer. 

"Hey!"

These things just happen because I'm so boring they can't withstand its force. 

Trains creak to a stop

Bakers burn their arms on red hot ovens

Children run into lakes and drown

Automobiles crash into TGIF's 

It's a sad state of affairs.