You had a name

Boney Maroni

Legs like Italian pasta 

A green Volvo with broken windshield wipers

You stopped for directions

But no one knew what the fuck you were talking about

It started to rain and didn't stop for two weeks

Oh Sardinia

I should have listened to DH Lawrence

The hotel was soggy but the fried squid was hot and good with garlic and bottles of red wine.